Broken Butterflies
by Chelle Storey-Daniel
Summary: Callie and George can't get along, but when he learns about her past he starts to understand her. Throw in a school shooting and angst and you have a novel length fic. :


_**Broken Butterflies**_  
Title: Broken Butterflies  
Author: Chelle Storey-Daniel  
Rating: NC17 eventually  
Pairings: Mer/Der, George/Callie, Alex/Addie (and possibly other couples, it just depends)  
Summary: This is set directly after Sometimes A Fantasy. George has kicked Callie out. Addison is still reeling from her breakup with Derrick. Meredith is still not sure who she wants to be with. This will follow some of the storylines that are canon on the show, but for the most part 'Who I Am' hasn't happened and won't happen in this story.

The parking deck was pitch black as Callie, still exhausted from a night of tossing and turning in her hotel bed, attempted to find her vehicle. She had been pacing back and forth for at least ten minutes, pressing the alarm button on her key fob in the hopes that her car would obligingly honk at her. "Damn it," she yelled, into the silence.

Addison Shepherd emerged from the elevator and drew up short. "Dr. Torres! What are you doing here?"

"Playing hide and seek with my car and apparently I'm it," she sighed. "You know, you'd think with what they charge for rooms at this place they could replace the light bulbs down here occasionally."

"I'll add that to the laundry list of complaints that I'm going to send to the corporate office."

"Dude, Paris Hilton is the heir to this dynasty. Do you really think they care?" Callie smiled at her.

Addison shook her head, returning the grin. "If I was in a better mood I'm sure I could say something about Paris Hilton and light bulbs, but I'm too tired."

"Right there with you." Callie held up her key fob, angrily smashing the button. "And I'm going to be late for work at this rate. And who wants to walk in the rain? Not me!"

"Ride in with me. I'll help you punish your car later."

"Thanks! I appreciate it."

"I could use the company."

"Me too."

"So what are you doing here exactly?"

"George O'Malley sucks."

"As do his closest friends."

"Tell me about it."

"It's only ten blocks to Seattle Grace. I'd need at least thirty miles to even scratch the surface."

"So, you kicked Torres out of your house?" Christina asked George, who was flipping through charts at the nurse's station. "That was pretty low."

"I didn't kick her out!" George snapped. "I just suggested that maybe it was too soon to live together. She agreed! Mutual decision! And how did you know?"

"Half the hospital heard you two screaming at each other."

"There was no screaming."

"I was in the half that heard it."

George looked perplexed. "So what if I did?"

"I didn't kick you out when you needed a place to stay."

"No, you made Burke do it. Remember? The naked?" he asked. "And I wasn't in your personal bubble."

"Personal bubble? You made waffles! In my kitchen! My bubble ceased to exist!" Christina picked up a chart of her own. "Callie is your girlfriend! If your girlfriend is suddenly homeless then you help her get back on her feet."

"She stayed a week!"

"A week? Seriously? It can take weeks, notice the plural there, to find an apartment in this town. This is Seattle. It's crowded. When I let my apartment go it was rented out within the hour."

"And I've never officially said that she's my girlfriend."

"You've just been sleeping with her for -"

"Weeks. That's just it. Weeks! People don't live together after a few weeks."

"Is she seeing other people?"

"No."

"Are you?"

"No."

"But she's not your girlfriend?"

"I -"

Callie, who had heard enough of the conversation to feel equal measures of pain and anger, reached around both of them to get a chart of her own. She said, "No. She's not his girlfriend. She's not even seeing him anymore. So he's free to do what he wants."

Christina exchanged an 'oh my god' look with George and quickly hurried off to check the surgical board. George moved closer to Callie, aware that there were several gossiping nurses nearby and he had been gossiped about enough. He spoke to her in a low voice. "Don't say that. I want to keep seeing you, I just think that we need-"

"To break up." She scribbled a few notes on the chart and turned to look at him. "It's okay. I can use my words."

"Callie!" His voice rose in exasperation and he noticed that he was the recipient of several aggravated glances. "All I was trying to say to you yesterday is that we need to slow down. Not stop. Slow down."

"George, if I were beating you in the head with a stick and it hurt really bad ... would you want me to stop or slow down?"

"What?"

"Because that's what being with you feels like. It feels like being bludgeoned to death. And if we 'slow down'," she used air quotes. "that just means it's going to take longer for you to finish me off. So if it's all the same to you, I'd rather just stop. Come to a screeching halt and walk away with what little bit of pride I still have."

George was still attempting to process her words. "Being with me is like being bludgeoned to death? Okay, you win. You officially hurt me just now more than Meredith Grey ever did. Congrats. I didn't think that could be done."

"Don't you get it? You hurt me in exactly the same way Meredith hurt you. I wanted to be with you as much as you wanted to be with her and you pushed and pushed and pushed until you finally won. The only difference here is that we weren't friends first. And we won't be friends now." She slammed the chart closed and tucked it under her arm. "I never wanted to hurt you. Never. You're George O'Malley. The first guy I have ever loved in my entire life. And this thing that I'm feeling? This is the first broken heart I've ever had. So, we're even."

"Please, Callie-" He tried to grab her arm, but she sailed past him, entering a patient's room. "Damn it!"

Meredith, who had overheard most of the conversation, patted him on the shoulder and held out her cup of coffee. "Need caffeine?"

"No, Hurricane Callie just gave me a nice wake up call." He slumped against the counter. "She broke up with me."

"It appears so."

"She broke up with me. The same 'she' who claims to love me."

"George, I'm saying this to you in the nicest way I can. You haven't really been very lovable where she's concerned. You don't say it back and you take it for granted that she's going to be there only when you want her to be."

"Are you trying to kick me when I'm down?"

"No. But I think you should try to understand what this has been like for her."

"Since when are you Callie's best friend?"

"Since she rescued my panties off the surgical board and saved me from being skinned alive by Bailey."

George groaned. "Those were yours?"

Meredith shrugged innocently. "Maybe you should talk to her."

"She won't talk to me. You don't know her! She can give the silent treatment better than anyone I've ever known."

"Then maybe you shouldn't say anything. Write a letter."

"No, then she calls me a toddler. 'Use your words' she tells me." He crossed his arms. "You know what? I'm actually relieved that it's over. I don't care at all."

"Great. You've grown from toddler to 'sullen teenager'. I'm so proud of the strides you've made toward adulthood."

George stalked away from her, gripping the chart in his hand far too tight.

No matter how old you got, some things never changed. The hospital courtyard at lunchtime was exactly like high school. Cliques sat together discussing other cliques, but instead of the cheerleaders against the gothic kids ... you had the nurses against radiology or the interns against the residents. Callie normally didn't mind the courtyard, but as she carried her tray through the sea of scrubs, she noticed George sitting with his usual crowd. She had been heading for the table nearest the wall, which was right next to his. Instead, she turned and started to make her way back toward the only other empty table. Sadly, it had been snatched up by four orderlies who glared at her. Admittedly, she had been rude to two of them earlier, but damn, she'd had one hell of a day.

Sighing with resignation she turned away and held her head up high as she sat down less than five feet from George, amusing herself with her Blackberry. Dining alone was not quite as embarrassing as airing her private business in front of everyone a few hours earlier, but it ran a close second. She was attempting to appear immersed in something on the tiny screen when Addison Shepherd slipped into the seat next to her and smiled. "You. Me. Joe's. Drinks. Ten."

"Channeling your inner cave girl?"

"Something like that. I've been working with Karev all day. I can actually feel my brain cells dying."

Karev spoke up from the next table. "I'm sitting right here!"

Callie and Addison both ignored him, never skipping a beat in their conversation. Callie said, "I'm not being the designated driver."

"You can't because you lost your car. And you're getting drunk with me. We're splitting a bottle of ... something"

"I'm in. And we're splitting a bottle of Hennessy. A very large, potent bottle of Hennessy."

"You know, we should split an apartment. You're at the hotel. I'm at the hotel. And what we're paying every night there could more than cover the rent." Addison took a bite of her tuna salad and grinned. "As an added bonus, it may have a garage with working lights."

"There's a novel concept," Callie replied, trying not to appear completely shocked that Addison Shepherd would even consider rooming with her. "I know one thing, I'm getting a nice, springy, pillowtop mattress. I think I'm bruised from that damn lumpy bed. Totally worse than the sofa bed my grandparents think I enjoy during the holidays. I'm going to need a chiropractor after tonight."

"I've had maintenance in my room three times to fix the toilet. I'm so ready to be out of there."

"Did you know that Chief Webber is in the room next to me?"

"Get out!" Addison said. "You know, I caught him removing his 'bed' from his couch the other day."

"I can top that! He caught me dancing in the basement of the hospital. In my underwear."

Addison's laughter rang out. "Why were you dancing in your underwear?"

"Because it was hot."

"Why were you dancing?"

"What the hell else is there to do in the basement of a hospital?"

"You're weird. I like that."

Callie smiled. "Which is a good thing if we're going to be roomies."

"A very good thing." Addison took another bite of her salad, then began to shake her drink, hitting the bottom of the can against her open palm. "So, we apartment hunt?"

"We apartment hunt." Callie picked up the newspaper that Addison had on her tray. "My only requirement is a huge kitchen. I love to cook."

"Good, because I love to eat." Nodding her head, Addy flipped the cap on the can. The contents spewed all over the place, spraying George and Alex, but drenching Callie and Addison. "Oh goddammit!" Addison cried. "I thought it was chocolate milk!"

Callie's mouth was partially open from the shock of it. She took one look at Addison who was trying to wrestle napkins from the container and burst out laughing. "I'm weird?"

"Shut up. We're a perfect match. You can dance around in your underwear after I spill stuff all over you."

Callie laughed harder than she had ever laughed in her life. She was almost screaming with it. Finally, for the first time, she had met a bigger spaz than she was. And the spaz in question wanted to be her friend.

"So, that was all kinds of weird." Meredith said to George as they watched Callie and Addison dumping the contents of their lunch trays.

"Yeah. When did they become friends?"

"My guess, from eavesdropping on the entire conversation, was last night when you kicked her out," Christina said, finishing off the last of her hot dog. "I'm just saying."

"I did not kick her out!" George snapped. "And did you see how she didn't even speak to me? I told you! Queen of the silent treatment."

Alex shrugged. "Well, it makes sense. They've both been kicked to the curb. And they're both too hot for their own good."

George stared at him. "You think Callie is hot?"

"Dude, do I have eyes? She's hot. She's like the strong, hot teacher in school who intimidated the hell out of you, but you would have volunteered to stay after to help her just to keep looking at her." Alex nodded. "Torres is a prime piece of -"

"Don't even say it." George shook his head.

"I'd hit it." Karev shrugged. "I wonder how I can score an invite to their apartment?"

"You're a pig." Christina stood, heading toward the trash can.

"Oink rhymes with boink, baby. I'm the king of both." Alex took a bite of his hot dog and wiggled his eyebrows at Meredith, who wrinkled her nose at him. "What?"

George sighed. "I'm supposed to scrub in with Chief Webber in an hour."

"Something good?" Meredith asked.

"Appendectomy." George shrugged.

"Oooh, Dr. 007 is back in the saddle." Alex shook his head.

"Heart in the elevator guy. Remember?" George pushed his tray away, the half eaten contents spilling a little. "That was ME."

Alex narrowed his eyes. "You may be the heart in the elevator guy, but at least I have a heart."

George said nothing. He simply stared after Callie, who never once looked his way.

Joe raised his eyebrow when Callie and Addison parked themselves at the bar and asked for a full bottle of Hennessy and two shot glasses. He had seen both of them put back a considerable share of alcohol on more than one occasion, but a full bottle split between them would likely leave them comatose. He filled their shot glasses, but put the bottle back behind the bar. "Let's just start off with small doses, okay?"

Addison pulled a hundred dollar bill from her purse and laid it on the counter. "We're calling a cab. We're staying at the same hotel. And both of our lives suck enough to warrant every last drop of that liquor."

Joe took a deep breath, sighed, and put the bottle in front of them. "You guys stay where I can see you. I mean it. Stay right here."

"Aye aye, captain." Callie saluted him, picked up her shot, and looked at Addison. "A toast?"

"To saving lives even if we can't save ourselves." Addison picked up her shot as well, clinked it to Callie's and kicked it back. It burned all the way down and she gasped. "Holy hell!" she sputtered, grabbing her neck.

"That's the good stuff." Smiling, Callie topped their glasses off again. "I miss the burn."

Addison was still trying not to choke. "That didn't faze you!"

"I'm good with bones and Hennessy. Both make me happy." She picked up her glass and smiled. "My turn. Here's to starting over no matter how much it hurts."

"I'll drink to that." Giving the glass a look of pure disgust, Addison downed it and coughed. "I'm going to need throat surgery."

"It'll be numb soon. Everything will."

Addison sat her glass on the bar and picked up a pretzel. "So, what's your story, Dr. Torres?"

"Please call me Callie." Cracking a peanut, Callie shrugged. "And there isn't much to tell."

"Where are you from?"

"New York City," Callie replied.

"Oh my god! I worked in New York for years!"

"I know. I was at Manhattan General. You were at Bellevue, right?"

"What a small world." Addison ate another pretzel. "Do you miss Manhattan?"

"Nope. Do you?"

Addison shook her head. "I thought I would and I did at first, but Seattle has its perks."

"The rain. The gloom. The dark skies. Matches my mood perfectly."

Grinning, Addison filled their glasses for the third time. "To Seattle."

"Seattle." Callie downed the shot and removed her jacket. The Hennessy was working and her entire body was heated. Beside her, Addison did the same, laying her jacket over the back of her chair.

The door opened and a gaily laughing Meredith came in, followed closely by George, Izzie, and Christina. Alex pulled up the rear, pausing to hold the door open for one of the nurses who was leaving the bar. Addison practically growled. "He's an ass."

Callie glanced at George and nodded. "That he is."

"I mean, he's a womanizing slut. But he attempts to be all chivalrous."

Chuckling, Callie shook her head. "I was talking about George."

"He's an ass, too." Watching as the small group took a table a few feet away, Addy rolled her eyes and filled their glasses for the fourth time. "To being outsiders."

Callie didn't lift her glass on that one. Addison leaned closer to her. "Do you really want to fit in with that little clique? Worship Queen Meredith and pretend that we don't notice that she's a husband stealing 'ho?"

"I've always been an outsider. How about we drink to finding another outsider to stand on the outside with?"

"That works."

The fourth shot burned a little and Callie shuddered. "I think I'm starting to get a buzz."

Addison held out the fifth shot and smiled. "I think I'm starting to black out."

Joe stopped in front of them, starting at the rapidly diminishing contents of the bottle. He leaned against the bar, studying the two women. "Haven't you ladies learned that some things are meant to be savored slowly?"

"He's right." Callie pulled two fifties from her purse and handed it to him. "Bring us both two shots of rum. The Hen needs to last."

"Mixing alcohol is bad." Joe held his palms up, not taking the cash.

"We're either gonna do it here or somewhere else, Joey," Callie told him, pushing the money closer. "Captain Morgan."

Joe turned away grabbing the bottle from the wide array of choices neatly lining the back wall. He placed four shot glasses in front of them and filled each one with liberal amounts. "Pour yourself one, Joe," Addison said, her voice notably slurred.

With a smile, Joe complied and poured himself a shot. Callie lifted her glass high in the air and said, "To the best legal drug in the world."

Addison laughed and downed the shot. It shocked her that it didn't burn in the least. Wordlessly, she picked up the second shot and smiled, her eyes glassy. "And this one, Callie, is for you. My new roommate. My new friend."

"To friends. Finally." With a wink, Callie clinked her glass and threw her head back. She promptly fell backwards, off the stool and landed in a heap on the floor. Somehow she had managed to down the shot while she was on her way down and she lay in the floor, laughing.

Addison was doubled over, howling with glee. Joe rushed around the bar, helping Callie to her feet even as he shook his head at George, who had jumped up and rushed toward Dr. Torres. It took three tries to get back on the stool, but she finally made it back and, still laughing, shoved Addison on the shoulder. "Friends don't let friends fall while drunk."

"No, but they do give you another drink."

"I have to pee," Callie announced, drawing the back of her hand over her mouth.

"Me too." Addison stared toward the restroom, narrowing her eyes in an attempt to focus. "There are two doors. When did you remodel, Joe?"

"Oh, good lord." Joe motioned for Bryan, the muscle bound tattooed bouncer, to join them and instructed him to escort the ladies to the restroom.

Bryan had trouble maneuvering the two stumbling, staggering ladies across the room, but enjoyed every second of it.

"Someone needs to do something." Christina watched as Addison attempted to eat a pretzel and missed her mouth for the fourth time. "They're going to get alcohol poisoning. I've had it. This is what it looks like."

Meredith held her hands up. "Well, it can't be me. Addison hates me. I think she'd try to kill me if I got too close."

Izzie, her chin resting in the palm of her hand, said, "What exactly did you do to Callie, George?"

"Tossed her out on her ass," Alex said, his eyes fixed on Callie, whose head had been resting on the bar for five full minutes. "Dude, I think Torres passed out."

George put his beer bottle down and stood. He had seen enough. "I'm going in."

Karev stood as well. "I've got your back."

While Alex attempted to strike up a conversation with Addison, George sat down next to Callie and put his hand on her shoulder. When she didn't respond, he pushed her hair out of the way and leaned closer. "Callie? Are you okay?"

As if her head weighed a hundred pounds, she eventually raised it enough to look at him. "You don't get to ask me if I'm okay. You did this to me."

"I'm sorry," he said softly. He pushed the shot glass back toward Joe and shook his head. Joe gave him a slight nod and put both glasses behind the bar, then slowly moved the almost empty bottle. George shifted his hand a little, settling it on the back of her neck. "I'm very sorry, Callie."

"Get away from her," Addison slurred, shooing his hand away. "Did you ask Meredith and Izzie if you could come over here? They keep you on a short leash."

George looked past her, at Alex, imploring him to distract the red head again. Alex complied, looking frazzled by the task. Callie had lowered her head back down and George moved a little closer, speaking softly against her ear. "Come home with me? You don't need to be alone."

"I'm alone even when I'm with you, George." She turned her head a little so she could look at him, oblivious to the tears that coursed down her cheeks. "You have no idea what it's like to love you. It hurts. It hurts so much."

Staring into her out of focus eyes was unnerving, but he persisted. "I know. I hurt you, but I didn't mean to."

She lifted her head again, reaching for her glass. "Where's my drink?"

"You've had enough." He took her hand.

"I have had enough. More than enough." Her voice raised and she jerked away from him, sliding off the stool. "I'm not doing this anymore! Go back over there and sit with your precious family and leave me alone."

Addison hopped off her stool as well, grabbing her coat, then Callie's. She looked at George, her face full of rage and opened her mouth to speak. Nothing would come out.

So she stuck her tongue out at him.

And flipped Meredith a bird.

CH2

The first thing Addison noted when she woke up was that her tongue was glued to the roof of her mouth. She grimaced and finally worked it loose. The second thing she noticed was that she was lying in the floor of her hotel room, halfway between the bathroom and the bed, and she wasn't exactly sure what she was doing there. Slowly pushing herself upright, she glanced at the clock on the end table and groaned. She was officially late for work and to make matters worse, her head was  
screaming in pain with every movement she made.

Yes, it was going to be one hell of a day. Literally.

She had showered and changed into a ratty, but comfortable sweat suit when a knock sounded at her door. She gave up trying to put makeup on because her hands weren't steady (and her head hurt too much to be decorated anyway) and pulled the door open. Callie stood on the other side, wearing a pair of jeans, a long sleeved T-Shirt that said, "Bitch, please", and her hair had been hastily secured in a ponytail. She looked exactly the way Addison felt and Addy smiled at her. "Come in."

"I'm visiting you as a corpse. I'm pretty sure I died." Pulling out one of the chairs, Callie fell back into it. "As an added bonus, we're late for work. And the coffee machine in the lobby is broken."

"I don't have any patients today anyway." Addison slumped in the seat across from her. "What was I going in for again?"

"We're supposed to be giving pep talks to the little interns. Remember? All the residents and attendings are spending the day talking about our first year as interns and telling everyone what a great job they're doing." Callie sighed and massaged her forehead. "Not one of Webber's greatest ideas by a long shot."

"You and I should not be called upon for morale boosting of any kind." Addison sat across from her and shook her head. "I feel like I got hit by a big truck. A truck laden with alcohol."

"Not one of your greatest ideas either, huh?"

"No, I'm glad I did it. I'm pretty sure, unless I dreamed it, that I gave Meredith Grey a one fingered salute."

"And I'm pretty sure that I let George see me cry which is the most humiliating thing I can imagine."

"Don't worry about it. He's an idiot."

"Yeah." Although she nodded her head in agreement, Callie's tone was anything but convincing. "That he is."

Addison studied her for a second, unsure of what to say. "On the plus side, I got a call earlier about an apartment on Riverside. That's just six blocks from the hospital and it's in a new building. We can see it this afternoon."

"Ooh, I've seen that building. It's nice."

"Things are looking up."

"You know, when people say things like that the bottom usually falls out."

"Let it. We're not technically on duty." Addison stood and grabbed her purse. "Well, we may as well get this over with."

Callie begrudgingly rose as well and she dreaded the inevitable story that she would be telling in a few short hours.

A small crowd had come together in one of the biggest auditoriums at Seattle Grace. It was a room often used for Alcoholics Anonymous meetings and the area was used for the Christmas party each year. Easily big enough to accommodate up to one hundred seats, there was also a stage on one end. Sitting upon the stage were Chief Webber, the attendings, and the residents. There was also a big screen just to the right of the podium that could be used for Power Point presentations to accompany the speeches that were being made. At the moment, there was a lull in activity and the people in the audience were using the time for idle chatter.

"But you made sure that they got home safely, right?" Meredith asked Alex, who was fidgeting in his chair.

"For the last time, yes. I took Torres to her room and waited until she had flopped on the bed and then I took Shepherd down the hall and left her in her room." Alex sighed and closed his eyes. "How much more of this crap is there?"

Christina was studying the agenda for the day and checked her watch. "Five more hours. You know what? We're interns. We should be out there learning instead of listening to this crap."

"I enjoyed what Derek had to say." Meredith glanced up at the stage, where Derek was involved in a serious discussion with Chief Webber.

"Of course you did." George glanced down at his own agenda. "Callie is supposed to speak after Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd."

"Who was supposed to go on five minutes ago. They're alcohol poisoned. I'm telling you." Christina glanced at her watch again and brought the subject back around to the current problem at hand. "I don't get the reasoning behind this assembly. I mean, most of us know exactly what branch of surgery we want to go into. We don't need to hear from everyone why they chose a certain field."

"I don't know," George told her, his thumb absently tracing Callie's name on the paper. "I think it's nice that they're taking time to do this. I mean, hearing Dr. Shepherd talk about his father's brain tumor and how that impacted his goals was pretty intense."

"And that's all I'm saying," Meredith said. "And Dr. Bailey's speech was pretty incredible. Who knew that she had overcome so many obstacles in her life to get here."

"Poverty isn't fun," Alex said, his eyes still closed. He had his hands behind his head and had stretched out, but as always, he was listening closely to the conversation around him. "I hope that one day she is able to help at the free clinic like she wants."

When no one responded, he opened his eyes and glanced around him, noting the looks that the others were giving him. "What? I can, on occasion, say something nice. Granted, it's painful, but it can be done."

Christina rolled her eyes and glanced at Meredith. "So, have you picked a man yet?"

Meredith smiled, her eyes meeting Derek's as he nodded at her. "No," she replied. "But I think I'm close."

There was a flurry of activity on the left side of the stage and Addison appeared, looking harassed and out of sorts. Callie followed in her wake, pulling her white medical jacket over her street clothes. Even if there had not been witnesses to the level of their intoxication the previous night it was plain to see that both ladies were hung over and were in no mood to be there. Callie slid into the seat next to Addison and crossed her arms over her chest, scowling at the crowd.

Chief Webber stood and headed toward the microphone. "Well, as you can see, even our beloved attendings and our residents are often times late." He turned and nodded at the women. "Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd, I believe the floor is yours."

Addison glanced at Callie, who gave her an animated thumbs up before slumping back into her seat. With a look that could only be likened to biting into a sour pickle, Addison stood behind the microphone and took a deep breath. "My name is Dr. Addison Montgomery," she began, purposely leaving off Shepherd. "And I'm in the OB/GYN program here at Seattle Grace. The main reason I chose that field was because I lost my mother to cervical cancer when I was nine years old. When I was nineteen, my sister gave birth to a stillborn baby and I decided that I wanted to make a difference."

Somehow she managed to fill her hour with talk about the importance of women's health and how difficult it had been for her to survive her first year as an intern. She rounded out her speech by telling the interns that it was a pleasure working with them and managed a smile as she thanked everyone for their time. The applause she received cut through her head like a saw and she moaned as she slumped down next to Callie.

"Great job," Callie deadpanned. "That moved me so much I could just shit."

"Bite me," Addison told her, but smiled.

Chief Webber went back to the podium and glanced out over the crowd. "I had the pleasure of hearing Dr. Torres recount her experience as an intern last year. The two of us went to a local high school for career day and she was actually the inspiration I had for doing this. I think her story is important and triumphant and we could all learn something from what she has to say." He turned and looked at Callie. "You ready?"

Callie nodded, took a deep breath, and made her way toward the podium. Chief Webber was waiting for her. He covered the mic and said, "Are you okay? You sure you can do this?"

"Yes and yes." She nodded and he patted her on the arm and returned to his seat.

She swallowed hard and turned to address the crowd, looking everywhere but at George and his friends. "Well, he certainly didn't put any pressure on me or anything." The comment drew the expected chuckle from the audience and she used the time to collect her thoughts. "When I graduated college I had no clue what I wanted to do or where I wanted to do it. New York City was the only home I had ever known and while I had gone as far away as I could to school, it just seemed right to go back there and try to make a difference. It didn't hurt that my boyfriend was there, either."

The crowd laughed again. She gripped the podium a little tighter. "Even though I know Manhattan like the back of my hand, I somehow got lost the morning that my internship began. I showed up fifteen minutes late and naturally my resident decided that screaming at me in front of all the other interns would teach me a valuable lesson. As you can see, it didn't. I'm never on time for anything. Actually, now that I think about it, that could be why.

"Anyway, my resident gave me the worst job she could find and I remember looking at the clock at one point. It was seven forty five in the morning and I had been there about half an hour and I wanted to quit. I wanted to quit more than I had ever wanted anything in my life. I went into the bathroom and I called my boyfriend and I told him that waitressing wasn't really that bad of a job and I was pretty good at it. He told me to get over it and get back out there. His exact words were 'You have to go where you're needed.'

"I did. I was basically put on candy striper duty and escorted two patients who had been discharged to their car. I was on the third discharge of the morning, standing under the awning in the parking lot, waiting for the woman's husband to bring the car around when it happened. A plane flew right over the hospital and it was so low that the ground shook beneath my feet. I looked up in time to see it bank to the left and right before my eyes it slammed into the side of the World Trade Center. Yeah, my first day as an intern was September 11, 2001. At Manhattan General. And I had just witnessed the first strike in a terrorist attack."

The audience gasped. She ran a hand over her face as if she were trying to erase the image, then gripped the podium again. When she spoke again, it was like a movie playing in her head as she relived it. "It was eight forty six in the morning. I had been a 'doctor' for an hour and eight blocks from me hundreds of people were wounded, dying, and I didn't have a clue what I could do to help. The woman that I had escorted out of the building jumped out of the wheelchair and into her husband's car, screaming at the top of her lungs, and I just stood there, staring up at that fiery building trying to process what I had just seen. I stood there for what felt like forever. I didn't know if I should run into the hospital or away from it. Two of the other interns came out, they had been shooed out of the ER, which was bracing for the unthinkable so I stood there with them.

"My cellphone went off a few minutes later. It was my mom. She was at work and wanted to make sure I was aware of what was happening. She told me that she could see everything from where she was and that she was certain a sight seeing helicopter had hit the tower. I assured her that it wasn't. I remember that she laughed at me when I told her that it was a commercial airliner. She actually laughed."

She exhaled and I noticed that her breathing was shaky. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she closed her eyes for a second. When she spoke again, her voice was full of emotion and cracked over the words. "When the second tower was hit at two minutes after nine, I lost the connection with my mother. It was direct hit on the floor where she was working as an investment banker. I didn't know that at the time, but I knew it in my gut. I watched it.

"I turned my phone off. I turned it off and made a decision." You could have heard a pin drop in the room. Everyone was staring at the stage, at Callie, with shock. "The first of the victims began to arrive and I walked back into the emergency room, took a look around me, and I became a doctor. I became the doctor that my mother had worked so hard for me to be. I don't know if it was shock or grief that woke up what was in me, but everything I had learned at school came rushing back in that instant and I jumped in and worked relentlessly to save the people who were pouring in.

"Not long after the second tower was hit our emergency room was filled to capacity. Every doctor was busy, every intern was puking or pitching in, and my resident turned and looked at me and told me to go outside and oversee the makeshift infirmary that was being set up in our parking lot. I don't know what she saw in me that made her give that task to me, but I did as she asked and I sent true emergencies through the doors and did what I could to help the people who weren't critical, but were scared to death.

"I watched the towers fall from the parking lot, knowing that my mother was there. The debris reached us and there was a billowing cloud of dust that choked you for so long that you didn't think it would ever clear. Somehow I got through the next thirty hours in a fog. I had seen third degree burns, amputations, cuts that were deep enough to expose vital organs, people who were missing most of their faces, brain injuries, premature babies, heart attacks, and just about any other traumatic injury that can be done to the human body.

"When my shift ended I realized that, unlike most interns, I hadn't gotten sleepy, I hadn't eaten, I hadn't had more than a few sips of water, and I didn't want to go home. Ever." She brushed a tear from under her eye and paused, trying to pull herself together. "We had gotten word that most of the local firemen were trapped in the buildings when they collapsed. My boyfriend, Brent, had been a fireman for seven years. It was supposed to be his off day, but I knew him. He would go where he was needed. I went to the roof of the hospital and stared out at the vacant skyline and the smoke that was still drifting upward from the piles of metal and concrete and I turned my phone back on. There were no messages. He would have called me if he was okay.

"Eventually I did go home and like the rest of the country I sat in front of the television and hoped that someone, anyone, would tell me something about my mom or about Brent. It was a relief to go back to work and on my first day back I made a decision. I was going into orthopedic surgery. Most surgical interns have a fascination with what a human can endure and still survive. Me? I wasn't fascinated anymore. I had seen it all. People rarely die from broken bones and in thirty hours I had seen enough death to last me an eternity. I chose what most people consider a light field, but I didn't care. I wanted my patients to wake up and thank me for a new ankle or a new hip or a new rotater cuff. I didn't want to lose another soul.

"People often ask me why I left New York and it's pretty simple. The skyline wasn't the only thing that had changed. I lost my family. I was an only child who was raised by a single mom and it wasn't my home anymore. I finished my internship there and then moved as far away as I could possibly go and still be on the same continent. I try not to look back, but sometimes it's hard. See, when something like that happens and you're thrown into something so extreme, you tend to move through your life at 'warp speed'." Her eyes found George's and held. "I move through life so fast and I say and do things that most people find shocking, but I know what it's like to live with not saying the important things and never getting the chance to. I didn't tell my mother goodbye. I didn't tell Brent that I loved him.

"What I did do was make it my goal to listen to my patients and tell them the truth. I'm not sorry that I had such a horrific experience because it made me who I am today. And today I am grateful that I'm standing here, able to tell you that each and every one of you has made a difference at Seattle Grace and wherever your medical career takes you, you're going to save lives and change lives. I'm proud to work with all of you. Thank you."

She stood at the podium for a second, long enough to realize that she had received a standing ovation. She nodded in thanks and turned away, walking off the stage and out into the corridor where she let the tears finally fall.

CH3

"Oh my god," Meredith said, standing next to George as she watched Callie leave the room. "Can you imagine being right there at ground zero on 9/11? That explains so much about her."

"Yeah," George nodded, stunned by what he had just heard. He pushed past Christina and Alex and jogged out of the room. He saw Callie duck into the women's room and cursed under his breath. After ten minutes, he pushed the door open and said, "Callie?"

She was at the sink, washing her face and glanced at him as he entered. "You are aware that this is still the ladies room, O'Malley?"

"Yes, ma'am," he replied, but didn't stop walking. He stopped in front of her, studying her face, then hugged her.

"What are you doing?" Callie snapped, stiffening. "Get off me."

He held firm and said, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said those things to you about moving at warp speed and I shouldn't have made a big deal about you staying with me. I - I was just scared of the way I feel about you."

"George-"

"No. It's my turn to talk. You told me to use my words and here they are." He moved back a little so he could look her in the eyes. "I want to be with you. I knew it the second you moved out. I didn't want to need you or to fall for you or to want you as much as I do, but I do, Callie. I do. I know that I keep messing things up, but I want to fix it. Let me? Just give me one more chance."

Her heart, which had been pounding so hard in her ears that it was deafening, seemed to calm in her chest. His words were like a balm over her soul, soothing the past that she had dredged up, and promising everything she could have wanted. Her initial reaction was to fling herself into his arms and hold on tight, but the impulse was curbed when Alex poked his head in the bathroom and said, "George, you better come out here."

"Why?"

"Meredith's mom was just brought in and she's freakin' out."

George looked back at Callie, who was watching him closely, and said, "I have to go. But I want to talk to you about-"

"Go," she replied, cutting him off. "And ... my answer is no."

"What?"

"You asked me to let you fix it. You would have to give me more than five minutes of your time to fix it and since I'm not now, nor will I ever be, worthy of more than that to you ... my answer is no. This was your chance, George." She took a deep breath. "And you have to go. So do I."

"Wait." He caught her arm as she moved past him.

She yanked free from his grip. "I'm done waiting! All you do is keep me waiting! But never Meredith. Never Izzie. I know when I don't stand a chance! I know when to give up. Goodbye, George."

She brushed past Alex, who had witnessed the entire exchange. Alex glanced at George and shook his head. "Whew. I thought she was going to punch you."

"It probably would have hurt less." He took a second to gather his wits. "What's wrong with Meredith's mom?"

"She fell. They think she has a broken hip, but she's talking out of her head, saying stuff to Chief Webber that makes even me blush."

George resigned himself to the fact that his love life was in code red and would remain that way terminally, then went into the hallway, where Meredith was pacing back and forth wringing her hands. He put his arm around her and led her away from the chaos that was surrounding Ellis Gray and more specifically, the insanely naughty things she was saying to the Chief. At the vending machine, he bought them both a cup of coffee and stood off to the side as Derek emerged from Ellis's room and walked toward Meredith. "How bad is it?" she asked, her eyes red and swollen.

"Dr. Torres is staying to go over the x-rays and we're giving your mom some sedatives and pain killers. It should calm her down."

"Don't you mean quiet her tongue?" Meredith sniffled. "Oh god. I've become my mother. She had an affair with Chief Webber and I had a prom night affair with you. And this? This humiliation and everyone finding out about it? This is my punishment."

"I don't think that's true." Derek hugged her. "And I don't really care if everyone finds out about us. What we had wasn't an affair to me. I love you and I was a fool to let you get away for a second."

"Yeah, you really were." She leaned her head against his shoulder. "The entire hospital now knows that my mother was in love with the Chief. They're going to think I'm here because of that or that I'm just-"

"Everyone in this hospital knows that you deserve to be here and that you're one hell of a doctor, Meredith." Derek smiled down at her. "You're one hell of a woman. And your mother is going to be fine."

Callie walked down the hallway toward them, carrying Ellis's chart. She pointedly ignored George and cleared her throat, waiting for the couple to break apart. To Meredith, she said, "Your mother didn't break any bones, but she did dislocate her hip. I can put her under general anesthesia to do the reduction, but I'll need you to sign the consent form."

She held the form and chart out to Meredith, who took it and said. "Aren't you off today?"

"I was. But the other ortho is in surgery already." Callie watched as she scribbled her name on the form. "Do you have any questions?"

"Will you use the Allis Technique or the Stimson Maneuver?" asked Meredith, referring to the two most common types of treatment for dislocation of the hip.

"Because of the way the joint has slipped I believe that the Stimson Maneuver will be our best bet. Your mother will need to stay in the hospital for about two weeks on strict bed rest and we'll have skeletal traction in place to keep the leg at the proper angle for precise healing." Callie accepted the chart and permission slip back and nodded at her. "It should only take a few minutes once we get everything going and I'll be back out to talk to you."

"Thank you, Callie." Meredith reached out and squeezed her hand. "I'm glad you're here."

"You'll need an intern." George fell in step beside Callie, who was in full doctor mode, as she walked back toward the patient's room. "I'd love to-"

"You're right." She paused, staring at Alex. "I know it will devastate you to hop off gynie brigade, Karev, but I need you to scrub in."

"I'm not on duty for three more hours." He shrugged. "But George is willing to help."

"Christina?" Callie asked, glancing at the dark haired girl. "You up for it?"

"Oh, if it will save me from the rest of the speeches, I'm all over it." Christina rubbed her hands together in anticipation. "I'm in."

"Callie!" Addison called, jogging down the corridor. "I've been looking for you all over the hospital! Are you okay?"

"No, but that's not new to me. I'd think something was very wrong if I was okay."

"Right there with you. Listen, are you ready to see the apartment?"

"Oh, damn it!" Callie cried. "It'll be about an hour or so. Medicine calls."

"Crap!" Addy replied. "I didn't want to go alone. The landlord was a little creepy on the phone."

"Today is your lucky day, doctor." Alex extended his arm toward her. "I am more than happy to resume my rather short lived career as male escort to your drunken or, in this case, hungover female physique."

Callie grinned at Addison. "That's 'desperation calling' in case you were wondering."

"I'm answering that call." Addy looped her arm through Alex's and said to Callie, "Meet me for dinner at the Archer when you're done and I'll tell you all about it."

"I'll be there with bells on."

"Now there's a nice visual." Alex wiggled his eyebrows at her and led Addison down the hall.

"So, what do you want me to do?" Christina asked, practically bouncing on the balls of her feet.

"I want you to go find me the biggest cup of black coffee you can get your hands on and then meet me back here to review the x-rays." She watched as the eager intern turned on her heel and headed toward the cafeteria, then put Ellis Grey's chart back outside her room.

"Thanks for doing this," George said, following her back to the light panel, where she had left the x-ray images. "It means a lot to Meredith and to me."

"Self centered, much? I'm not doing this for you or for Meredith. I'm doing it for that woman in there who happens to be in pain. I'm doing it because it's my job. And just so we're clear, nothing I do from this point on is in any way, shape, or form meant to impress you. I'm over trying."

"Everything you do impresses me. I'm impressed."

"Stop!" She flipped the lights on and studied the films again, the bright light causing deep pain to shoot through her head. "I take back what I said. You and words? Not so much. I don't want to hear anymore. I'm this close to ramming a scalpel in my ear to drown you out!"

"Who's being the toddler now?"

"George, I'm going to say this as gently as I can. I didn't go into orthopedics just because people rarely die although it was a huge part. I went into it because I get to break bones. Legally. If you keep speaking to me then I'm going to miss dinner with Addison because I'll be here setting every one of the bones that I break of yours. So, listen to that little voice of self preservation inside you and go away."

"Fine. I'll go. But I will be back."

"Thanks for the warning."

"What do you think?" Addy asked Alex as she walked from the living room of the empty apartment to the kitchen. "It's nice, right?"

"Not for what they're asking." Alex opened a closet and peered inside. "You should try my building. It's four blocks over and the rooms are about three times this size and it's hundreds less. Plus it's a gated community which is important for women who live alone."

"Careful, Karev, you keep talking like that and you'll have to resign as president of the male chauvinistic pig society."

"You wound me," he replied, laying a hand over his heart. "I was only ever treasurer of the male chauvinistic pig society and I'll have you know that I was forced to resign when you decided that I was your personal vagina intern."

"You will never get personal with my vagina."

He smiled at her, cocking his head to one side. "The lady doth protest too much."

She simply stared at him. Finally, she said, "Like you know Shakespeare."

"I hate to ruin your very narrow minded perception of me, but yes, I do know Shakespeare. And contrary to what you or anyone else thinks I also know how to treat women."

"It's the plural of women that do you in, Karev. Ever think about picking one and remaining committed?"

"Right now I'm thinking pot, kettle, black."

She narrowed her eyes. "This isn't about me. It's about you."

"Really?" He slowly moved across the room and she backed away from him. When her back was against the wall, he braced his arms on either side of her head. "Who should I pick? Anyone in particular? Anyone begging for it?"

She licked her lips, watching as his tongue danced out as well, mirroring her movements. When he ducked his head and kissed her she pulled him closer, even though her mind was screaming at her to push him away. The things he did with his mouth caused her toes to curl in her sneakers and when he threaded his fingers through her hair, tugging her head back and deepening the kiss, she actually moaned.

Someone knocked at the door and she jumped, her eyes popping open as the moment was broken. She shoved him away and yanked the door open, staring at the rotund, cigar puffing landlord on the other side. "So, do you want it?" he asked her. "Because I have someone else scheduled to view it in twenty minutes."

"No," Alex replied when she simply stood there, looking like a deer frozen in headlights. "But thank you for your time."

He took her hand and pulled her along behind him, smiling when she didn't wrench free of his grasp. Once they were back inside her car, she sat behind the wheel, staring at the concrete wall of the parking deck in front of them. He cleared his throat and smiled, "It's okay, many a woman has been left speechless when I turned on the charm like that."

She turned her head very slowly toward him, her eyes narrowed. "Are you going to tell me how to get to your apartment or what?"

He told her.

They arrived less than ten minutes later and he gave her the code for the gate. He pointed out an open house and two vacant apartments, expecting her to pull in next to them. Instead, she asked, "Where's yours?"

"Straight ahead."

They were kissing again before the door even closed all the way. He pushed her back against the wall and kicked it shut behind them, then unzipped the jacket of her jogging suit, shoving it over her shoulders. Stepping back, he hooked his fingers under the tight black tank top that she wore underneath and slowly inched it upward, revealing her milky white skin one delicious inch at a time. She wasn't wearing a bra and he grinned at her as her breasts were freed from the confines of the shirt. Lowering his head, he captured one of her rosy nipples in his mouth as he pushed the shirt up over her arms.

She tilted her head back and he kissed a path up her neck, stopping at her ear lobe where he gently nipped her flesh and whispered, "You're beautiful."

"I'm already seduced, Karev." She yanked his shirt apart, sending a spray of buttons flying across the room and smoothed the palm of her hand over the contours of his chest. "So shut up."

He felt her run her foot up the side of his leg and caught her behind the knee, drawing her leg up over his hip. He pressed against her, letting her feel that he was very much in the seduced category as well, then hungrily devoured her mouth. Without another word, he lifted her, urging her legs around his waist as he made his way to his bedroom and let her drop backwards on the bed. He made quick work of her shoes and socks then jerked her pants over her hips, pausing only to bite her pelvic bone as he eased his fingertips under the lacy strings of her panties and slid them down.

"Look at that," he said, a smile tugging the corners of his lips as he let his thumb dance over the 'landing strip' of curl between her legs. "You really are a red head."

"I'm the original firecrotch," she told him and gasped when he lowered his mouth to her center. Within minutes, her back was arched, her hands were gripping the cover of his unmade bed, and she was crying out her release.

He stood, enjoying the view as she rode out the waves of her pleasure. He toed off his shoes and discarded what was left of his shirt, then unbuttoned his pants and kicked them across the room. Grabbing a condom from the nightstand, he quickly put it on, and joined her on the bed, kissing every inch of her as he slowly climbed her body. When they were eye to eye, he said, "Look at me."

She complied, her gaze resting on his. He entered her then, slowly, tenderly, and she felt her body, the same body that was so thoroughly sated just moments before, reawaken with white hot need. She hooked her heels behind his legs and pushed her hips up against his. He took the hint and pulled back, slamming roughly into her several times. It shocked her how well he seemed to fit, how well he knew her body, and when her second orgasm hit, she yelled his name.

Hearing his name rolling off her tongue in a husky, hoarse cry threw him over the edge. With her hair fisted in his hands, he came, stiffening over her before collapsing fully on top of her. He could feel her heart pounding against his, feel her heavy breaths against the crook of his neck, and he smiled, dropping a lazy kiss on her shoulder.

"Oh my god," she whispered. "You actually do know how to treat women."

"Are you rethinking your earlier statement?"

"Which one?"

"I'm available to be your personal vagina intern any and every time you need me."

She smiled. "I'm not my husband. I don't sleep with interns."

He lifted his head and grinned down at her. "Sleeping isn't exactly what I had in mind, so you're good. Very, very good now that I think about it."

She pushed him off her and he slipped to one side, watching as she stood. "Don't fall for me Karev. That's one complication that I don't need."

He watched her walk, naked, into the bathroom. "It's a little too late for that," he mumbled softly, listening to the sounds of running water.

She finished washing up and emerged. "Your apartment really is nice. The bathroom is bigger than Derek's entire trailer. How exactly do you afford this?"

"My grandfather died and left me some money. I think he meant it as an apology for the fact that his bastard son had tormented me for years." Alex shrugged. "Paid off my medical loan and will keep me out of the homeless shelter until I can start a practice of my own."

"Your father-"

"Some other time." He slipped from the bed as well and went into the bathroom to discard the condom. When he emerged he found her dressed and sitting on the edge of the bed. "So, what happens now?" he asked in a soft voice.

"I don't know."

"I have an idea."

"I'm suddenly scared."

He sat down next to her and playfully nudged her with his shoulder. "How about I give you the grand tour of the apartment complex and you pick up a couple of brochures to show Dr. Torres and then you say yes when I ask you if you want to have dinner with me tomorrow."

"You're asking me to dinner?"

"I am."

"Well, stop."

"You're the one who told me to pick one woman and remain committed."

"I didn't say to pick me!"

"But you're oh so ripe for the picking."

"I have baggage! Tons and tons of excess baggage."

"I was a bellboy for years. I know how to handle baggage."

"Stop talking."

"Say yes."

"To dinner?"

"That's a start."

"Okay, but that's all."

"Right. But I pick the dessert."

"Karev-"

"You called me Alex when you came."

"I hate you," she said, but she smiled.

CH4

Addison was already seated at the Archer Restaurant when Callie, who had showered again at the hospital and had given up trying to fix her hair, pulled out a chair and flopped down. The two women exchanged equally pathetic looks and both picked up their menus. "On the plus side," Callie said, not bothering with a greeting as she scanned the dinner choices. "This day actually does have to end. It has no choice."

"How did your surgery go?"

"Meredith's mother dislocated her hip. I fixed it. Non invasive."

"Lovely."

"And I broke up with George. Seriously broke up with him. Like, so seriously that I threatened bodily harm."

"I slept with Alex," Addy blurted, then clapped her hand over her mouth.

Callie had been sipping water. She choked and gasped, grabbing her nose as the cold water painfully shot through it and she positively howled with glee. Her laughter drew several glances in their direction, but she didn't even try to contain it. Wheezing for air, she said, "You win! I can't top that!"

"Oh god." Addison closed the menu and cradled her head in her hands. "I slept with Mark the other day, now Alex. I'm a bona fide man eating whore."

"Dude!" Looking equally impressed and scandalized, Callie dabbed at her nose with a napkin. "I've seen both men. If you're going to be a man eating whore then those two are the filet mignon of choices. Hmm, filet mignon. That sounds good."

"How can you even think about eating after I told you that? Does it not turn your stomach as much as it turns mine?"

"If it turned your stomach then why are you still smiling?"

"Shut up." Addison grinned. "He asked me to dinner tomorrow night."

"And you said yes, even though it repulses you, right?"

Addy made a face at her. The waiter appeared and took their orders which were identical and asked if they would like to see the wine menu. Both women were emphatic about definitely not seeing anything to do with alcohol and waited for him to leave before speaking again. Sipping her own water, Addison said, "So you broke up with O'Malley?"

"Yeah."

"Mind if I ask why?"

"Because he has his nose rammed so far up Meredith Grey's ass that I can't get close enough to him to matter. When he does step away from her he goes right to Izzie. It's weird."

"They are all freakishly bonded. I mean, I occasionally talk to the interns I worked with in my first year, but hell, I never wanted to live with them and work with them and have sex with them." Addison crossed her arms. "He's trying to be Jack Tripper. You know? From Three's Company."

"He's definitely spastic enough to be Jack Tripper."

"You love him, though."

"I love him, though." Resigning herself to the fact that her heart was right back out on her sleeve, Callie added, "How can I not? He's sweet and thoughtful and adorable and so funny. God, he's so funny. And he lets me beat him at video games and he will passionately argue that Spiderman could take Superman in a fight and he is as excited about the Transformers movie as I am."

"Oh god, do you have a big comic book collection that you're going to insist be prominently displayed at our apartment?"

"No. I gave my comic books to George. That's love, man. Some of them were old."

Addison laughed at her. "Sounds to me like breaking up with him wasn't what you wanted to do."

"It's what I had to do." She shrugged. "Because staying with him hurts too much and I'm done with hurting."

Picking up her glass, Addison smiled. "To not hurting."

Callie clinked her glass to Addy's and nodded. "To not hurting." She took a sip and said, "So, does Alex have reason to walk around the hospital acting like he's Casanova?"

It was Addy's turn to choke.

And that pretty much answered Callie's question.

Callie and Addison took separate cars the next day due in large part to Callie's desire to arrive early and check on Meredith's mother. The hotel still could not brew a decent cup of coffee, so she arrived bleary eyed at the hospital and made a beeline for the vending area where a watered down cup of joe could be had for a dollar. She had spent the entire night tossing and turning and trying to convince herself that she didn't care that George was a thing of the past. It was a fight she lost and she was sure that the dark circles around her red, puffy eyes was a dead giveaway. She was working on her second cup when Meredith tapped her on the shoulder and said, "Hey, Callie. You're here early."

Callie nodded. "I have a VIP patient. Your mother was a legend at my school. How is she this morning?"

"Heavily medicated."

"You want me to back off the narcotics?"

"No. I want her to be comfortable." Meredith sighed. "You think she's comfortable?"

"I'm sure she is."

Meredith studied the dark haired woman for a second, noting that she had been crying, then said, "I know it's none of my business, but George misses you."

"Did he tell you that?"

"Yeah."

"He doesn't tell me anything."

"It's not really his fault. I mean, to understand George you have to know about his family and about the long, very long, list of women who have broken his heart. The last one was me. And I did a pretty bang up job of devastating him."

"Well, he paid it forward. Trust me. He did a pretty bang up job of devastating me."

"Wanna talk about it?"

Callie sipped her coffee, weighing her options. Finally, she said, "He doesn't love me. I'm the rebound girl. I'm the girl who picked up his pieces for him, the pieces you left, and put him back together. But he still doesn't need me or love me or really want me around him as was witnessed by a vast number of this hospital staff when he kicked me out on my ass."

"He's scared, Callie. He's scared of how he feels for you and how much you can hurt him if he does let his guard down."

"He doesn't have to worry about it anymore."

"He wants you. I know he does."

"He wants you more. You and Izzie and your little 'Three's Company' montage." She shrugged. "Four's a crowd."

"I have a little problem with the fact that you're upset with him for taking such good care of Izzie. Her fiancé died. He died after she ran through hell to save him and George is her best friend. Surely you can respect him for making time for her."

"I'd respect him more if he could invite me to help take care of her. I was there when Denny died, too. I even came to your house and cooked for Izzie. I was trying to fit in!" She sighed and tossed her empty cup into the trash. "I know better than to try. I don't fit in. I was that girl in high school that had wads of gum stuck in her hair every day. And you and Izzie? You were the girls who did it."  
"Callie," Meredith said softly, putting her hand on her arm. "I never-"

"Remember when I peed in your bathroom and you and Izzie acted like I was a big, dirty cockroach?" Callie raised an eyebrow when Meredith didn't reply. "Well, I do."

"We were shocked!"

"If someone answering the call of nature shocks you then you're in the wrong field," she replied. "And I didn't know that you guys were home. I was already mortified by the fact that you saw me naked. I figured I may as well finish what I came to do."

Before Meredith could form a response, Ellis Grey's call button went off and Callie walked into the room. Meredith followed behind her and watched as Callie smoothed the older woman's hair out of her face and spoke softly to her, explaining why she was in traction. Ellis would forget within minutes and have to be told again, but it didn't deter Dr. Torres from giving her patient a full explanation and small, comforting words.

Addison was looking at the flier from Alex's apartment building when George sat down across from her. With a sigh, she lowered the leaflet, and crossed her arms, meeting his gaze across the break room table. She regarded him for a few seconds before she said, "I already asked Christina to scrub in on the c-section."

"I want to talk to you about Callie."

"I don't talk about my friends."

"Even the ones that you've had for like five minutes?"

"Even those."

"I want to be with her." George was amazed at the conviction in his own voice and his brow furrowed. As if realizing for the first time that his words were true, he laid a hand over his heart and said it again. "I want to be with Callie Torres. Just her. I - I think - I think I'm in love with her."

Addison watched the emotions play across his face and understood that he was shocked by his admission. "You think? Matters of the heart are usually cut and dried, O'Malley. You either do or you don't. You can't sorta love someone."

He nodded. "Then I love her."

"Why?" She leaned forward, resting her elbows on the table as she watched him.

"Why what?"

"Why do you love her?"

George smiled a little as he considered his words. "Because she's funny. She makes me laugh and she doesn't let me take myself too seriously. And she gave me comic books. Plus? She beats me at video games and thinks it cute that I can't even come close to beating her. She thinks I let her win, but I don't. I know I'm going to lose, but I play anyway because she gets this little twitch in her cheek when she's plays and it's - it's actually adorable." He cradled his head in his hands. "I've been a fool."

"Yep." Addison sighed. "You really have, but I don't think you can help it. You're a man and when men come to Seattle they take leave of their senses for some reason."

"What should I do?"

Addy held her hands up. "O'Malley, I am in relationship hell. I literally don't know if I'm coming or going or sane at the moment. I am the last person who should ever give love advice."

"But she's talked to you, right? Please help me. Please, Dr. Montgomery."

"Look," she replied. "I know she loves you, but I know you hurt her. Really, really bad. I know that she feels like she's the least important person in your life and that she can't compete with Meredith and Izzie. You can tell her that you love her, but I think actions are louder than words sometimes. You want my advice? Ask her on a date. Turn off your phone and listen to her. Let her be the center of your world for just a second and see what happens. Maybe you'll be pleasantly surprised."

Christina poked her head in the door and said, "Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd, the OR is ready."

Addison cringed at the use of her dual last names, but said nothing.

Chief Webber was frazzled. He had been heading out of the hospital for a very important meeting when his pager went off. His niece was being brought in by ambulance and the information that he had gotten from the paramedics wasn't promising. Her cancer had spread faster than anyone could have anticipated and he doubted whether she would survive another six months. With a sigh, he took off his suit jacket and replaced it with his white medical coat and stethoscope. As he was heading down the corridor toward the ambulance bay, he noticed Dr. Torres staring at the surgical board with her hands on her hips.

"Dr. Torres, I thought you had a surgery at ten."

"I thought I did, too, but the patient cancelled."

"And you have nothing else to do?"

Callie straightened up, expecting to be reprimanded for loitering in the hallway. "Uh-"

"Because if you're free for a while I'd like for you to take my place at the high school. They're having their career fair today and I was supposed to host the medical panel. You're young, you're an excellent speaker, and I think you'll do a great job."

"Thank you." She brightened instantly, no longer looking like she had been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. "Consider it done."

"I don't have to convince you?"

"No. My therapist says that I should confront my fears and high school was my own personal hell. I'm going to confront it head on."

"You scare me," He said with a grin. "It's the high school over on Clover and Meadow. The new one."

"I know exactly where it's at. Do you need me to give them a message for you?"

"I'll call and let them know that you're coming. I've already sent the literature to the school."

"I'm on it."

"Thank you, Dr. Torres."

"Anytime, Chief."

He watched as she retreated down the hallway and studied the surgical board for himself. It pained him not to see Preston Burke's name as the attending physician on any of the cases and he made a mental note to speak with Derek about Burke's progress. He contented himself to review the cases that were presented on the board to keep his mind occupied.

He was checking his watch for the fifth time when Addison tapped him on the shoulder. "I'm here," she said, rubbing her hands together. "What do we have?"

He explained.

And accepted the hug she gave him as the ambulance siren wailed in the distance.

Alex turned his head from side to side, attempting to work out the painful kink in his neck. Glancing around him, he leaned closer to George, who was rummaging through the supplies on a cart and said, "Dude, can I tell you something?"

"I'm almost ninety-nine percent sure that I don't want to hear it." George found the catheter he was looking for and glanced at Karev, who looked more peculiar than usual. "Okay, what is it?"

"I had sex with Dr. Shepherd."

O'Malley dropped the Foley and stared at him, his mouth agape. "Seriously?"

"Seriously." Alex massaged the back of his neck. "I can't stop thinking about it. I mean, you know that I'm all about casual sex, but this was ... well, different."

"How could you do that? Meredith is going to kill you." George stared at him, then cocked his head to one side. "Hmmm. I knew that Derek was too pretty to be straight. The hair. The smile. But you? I -"

"What!?" Finally realizing what George was thinking, Alex punched him on the arm. "It was Addison, you idiot!"

"Oh!" George massaged his arm, then his eyes widened. "OHHH! Dude, that's - that's ... I don't know what that is."

"Me, either. That's the problem."

"What's the problem?"

"I asked her to dinner. Tonight."

"You don't have dinner, Alex. You have sex. You have sex and if the girl is lucky you drive her home afterwards." George lowered his voice and whispered. "You're a man-whore."

"I know! And the fact that I want to take her to dinner seriously jeopardizes my standing." Alex leaned back against the cart that George had been rummaging on. "I like her. I don't want to like her, but there it is."

"What are you going to do?"

"I thought about having sex with someone else to prove that I'm okay, but I can't. And Nurse Morgan actually invited me to eat in her car at lunch." Alex shook his head. "I turned her down. The last time we ate in her car there was no food involved."

George blushed and attempted to shake the image from his head. "So, you like her?"

"Apparently."

"Tell her." George picked up the catheter and stood, taking a deep breath. "Because if you don't tell her then you'll feel like a complete ass when she moves on."

"You should know that from experience."

George narrowed his eyes. "Maybe you should let her do all the talking. Ass."

CH5

The bell was ringing when Callie walked up the front steps of Liberty High School. She joined the throng of students, ignoring the butterflies that danced in her stomach, as she followed the signs to the office. No matter how new the building was, it smelled like every other school she had ever been in and it threw her back fifteen years as she listened to the chatter and lockers being slammed. She had not exaggerated when she told Meredith and even Finn that she was that girl. Every school had one of those girls who was tormented endlessly by every social group in existence and Calliope Torres with her braces, glasses, and blue ribbon every year at the Science fair easily wore the 'kick me' sign on her back.

It was a tedious process, but she was eventually led to the cafeteria, where the medical seminar was taking place. Principal Griffin had already informed her that the majority of kids had signed up for her discussion and she was excited, very excited to have to the chance to speak about something she was so passionate about. And to leave the hospital. She had been on pins and needles most of the day, trying to avoid running into George. Breakups were horrible. Especially when you were as inexperienced at them as Callie was. She received a hearty round of applause as she took the makeshift stage.

She began by outlining what it would take for each student to be accepted to medical school and what they could expect at the university. She spent a while talking about some of her favorite patients and explaining that even though schooling had been hard, it was well worth it to see people heal and return to their normal lives. When she smiled at the crowd and asked if anyone had questions, at least fifty hands shot into the air. Feeling like she could easily drag the meeting out long enough to technically be off work for the day, she grinned from ear to ear.

"Okay, Blue Shirt." She pointed at a blond haired boy in the front row. "Ask away."

"What's the hardest part of being a doctor?"

"Physically it's the lack of sleep. You can be on call for thirty straight hours. Mentally it would be losing patients. It never gets any easier no matter how many times it's happens and no matter what you're taught in school ... it's hard to remove yourself from it." She nodded at him, then pointed at a pretty girl who was waving her hand back and forth. "Go ahead."

"Has anyone ever yelled at you when you tell them that their loved one has died?"

"It's happened to me a few times. When someone is grieving, they do and say things that will hurt your feelings, but it's the pain talking. You just kinda learn what you should say to a family and if it does become tense and they get angry then you do your best to help them."

A boy with thick glasses asked the next question. "Do you think the money that you spent on your education is worth what it cost?"

"It's insanely costly to become a doctor. But you can't put a price tag on the knowledge that I now possess. A human life is priceless and I'm more than compensated every time someone is discharged from the hospital alive and well."

The next question came from a football player who was proudly wearing his jersey. "What kind of money do surgeons make?"

"Not as much as professional football players," Callie replied with a smile. "But if you can establish yourself in an area of the country where your field of medicine is in demand, you can earn a very decent living. For instance, I came to Seattle because of the hockey and honestly ... because the weather is wet and gross and more people fall and break bones in the rain."

The crowd laughed a little and as Callie was pointing to another young man for the next question, someone set off fireworks near the main entrance. Startled, she gasped, laid a hand over her chest and started to jokingly comment on how festive the crowd was.

The first of the screams were agonizing to hear and she stared at the back of the room, where three boys carrying what appeared to be military rifles shouted at one another and then opened fire on the students again. Horror struck, Callie screamed for people to take cover and hit the floor, her hands over her head. Within seconds, the room reeked of blood and gun smoke and the terrorized screams were the only thing louder than the rapid staccato of the bullets finding their target.

When the shots ceased to ring out, Callie dared to raise her head. She saw the boys filing out of the room and jumped to her feet. "Help me bar the doors!" she cried, charging for the back of the room. "Someone call 911!"

Several students followed behind her and together, they bolted the doors. Outside in the hallway the guns were blasting again and screams were being silenced. She turned, surveying the scene in front of her and her mind flashed back to September 11, when hell had been unleashed in New York. Taking a deep breath, she went to the victim nearest her and felt for a pulse. The girl was dead and the fact that there was massive trauma to her head confirmed that she had no hope. She motioned at one of the boys. "Take off your shirt and put it over her face. Now."

The boy complied as Callie was moving to the next person. He was gargling on his own blood and she swallowed hard. To the shirtless boy, she said, "I need you to put your hand right here and put as much pressure on him as you can. Don't let him move and don't let up on the pressure."

Two more children lay dead just behind the final row of tables and she made sure they were properly covered with shirts as well before moving to the next. A good twenty minutes passed and with the help of the unscathed students, most of the wounds had been taken care of as best as she could manage. One girl had been shot in the mouth and most of her teeth were missing. Callie gave her a wad of napkins and told her to bite down hard and to remain on the floor. Four more bodies were discovered by the time she heard sirens wailing in the distance.

The gunshots were random now, not rapid and constant.

And every time a shot rang out the survivors in the lunchroom felt a little bit of hope dying, too.

Meredith and Christina were transfixed in front of the television. They had both been sent to help Ramona Fletcher meander up and down the hallway after her exploratory surgery. Upon their arrival, however, they were shushed into silence when Mrs. Fletcher pointed at the 'late breaking news' that she was fixated on. The live footage showed several police cars, a swat unit, and two helicopters that had landed in the football field of Liberty High and were ready to transport the victims. Reports from inside the school confirmed that there were multiple injuries.

"Oh my god." Christina ran a hand through her hair and held it away from her face. "What the hell?"

The page for all doctors to report to the emergency room was not unexpected. Both interns forgot about Ramona Fletcher and literally raced down the stairs. It was a flurry of activity as every doctor was suited up in trauma gear and orders were being barked out left and right by Chief Webber and the attendings.

The television at the nurse's station held everyone's attention. Chief Webber cut through the silence by clearing his throat. "I need you all to listen to me please?" When all eyes were on him, he took a deep breath and said, "One of our own is inside that school. Dr. Torres was speaking at the career fair."

"Oh my god," Meredith put a hand over her mouth and looked at George, who had suddenly turned a sickly shade of gray.

Addison, who was standing next to him, reached down and took George's hand in hers, squeezing it a little as she asked, "Has anyone heard from her?"

Webber shook his head. "I've called her cell phone to no avail."

"What do we do?" Alex asked.

"Be doctors." Bailey told him. "We're going to have to be doctors first and worried coworkers second. Got me?"

"Shhhhh!" Olivia waved at everyone and turned the volume up. "Listen!"

"We're told that several prominent people from the community were at the school for the yearly career day convention. Police tell us that they are currently on the phone with a surgeon from Seattle Grace Hospital who is locked in the cafeteria with roughly two hundred and fifty students." The reporter touched her earpiece and frowned. "The doctor's name is Calliope Torres and she has just confirmed that there are at least eight fatalities. This is horrible, folks. If you're just joining us-"

"She's alive." George slid down the wall, still clinging to Addison's hand and forcing her down next to him. "She's okay."

Bailey squatted down next to him. "Pull it together, O'Malley. You can freak out on your own time. This is my time."

"They're shooting at police officers!" Olivia cried, gesturing wildly at the television.

One of the windows at the school had been raised and every so often, a boy would stick his head just over the sill and fire toward the assembled police cars. The camera panned back, giving a wide angle of the school and then focused on a side door that had opened suddenly and several kids rushed from the building, most with their wounded classmates supported between them. They were met by paramedics and officers and were quickly ushered into idling school busses that were out of the range of fire.

"That's our cue. They'll be bringing those kids here." The Chief took a deep breath and nodded at his crew. "Stay focused. Stay resolved."  
George remained on the floor for a second longer, taking deep breaths. Addison stood and tugged on his hand. He glanced up at her. "I can't do this."

"She'd kick your ass if you didn't. Remember what she said? Go where you're needed. You're needed right here!"

Alex nudged George with the toe of his shoe. "Dude, you're the heart in the elevator guy. Get off your ass and prove to everyone why you're a legend around here."

George stood on shaking legs and accepted the surgical cap that Meredith was holding out to him. The minutes seemed to take hours, but finally the children arrived. The ambulance bay opened up as the school bus rolled to a stop and then everyone was moving fast, rushing around him as the first of the victims were brought into the ER.

CH6

Trying to ignore the pandemonium, Callie ushered students out the side door to safety. Several police officers had entered the lunchroom, followed by a handful of paramedics who were strapping the kids with massive injuries to gurneys for the journey to the hospital. After Callie assured the medics that the blood that covered almost every inch of her was, in fact, not hers, they began wheeling the kids from the room one by one. Carefully walking on the gore-slickened floor, she tapped an officer on the shoulder and said, "What about the kids in the hall? And the classrooms?"

A gun shot caused both of them to jump and the officer shook his head. "We can't go out there until the situation has been contained."

"Contained? Those children, children who were fine an hour ago, will bleed to death if they haven't already." Callie raked a hand through her hair and cringed when she realized that it matted with sweat and blood. "We have to do something."

"Going out there will get us killed."

"And sitting here is getting them killed." She shook her head. "There has to be a way to get to the others. I took an oath to help people."

"So did I! And we won't be able to serve, protect, or help if we're in matching body bags." The officer took his hat off and stared at her for a second. "Ma'am, I understand where you're coming from. My little girl is somewhere in this school right now. But it will be a bloodbath if we open those doors and act without a plan. Now why don't you hitch a ride back to the hospital?"

"Hell no. I'm a doctor. You need me here. These victims need me here."

"You're brave." Tipping his hat at her, the officer actually smiled a little. Just a little, but it was there. A sliver of light in a blackened tunnel. "Too damn brave for your own good. But I respect it."

"Good. 'Cause I'm staying." She turned her back to him and strode back across the room where she tied a ripped t-shirt a little tighter around a girl's leg. "Someone will be here for you soon," she said, laying a hand on the sobbing child's arm. "I know it hurts."

"I'm scared."

"It's okay to be scared. You just hang in there until the medics come back and they'll get you taken care of. Okay?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Callie spotted a boy who was sitting with his back against the wall and his knees drawn up. He had been shot in the hand and the mangled remains of it had been bandaged to the best of Callie's abilities. She squatted down next to him and said, "I thought I told you to get on the bus."

"That's my girlfriend." He pointed at the prone form a few feet away, at the girl who had died from the shot to the head. "I leave when she does."

"I understand. I really do. But it could be hours, maybe even a day before they finish up the investigation and start moving the bodies."

"She's not a body!" the young man cried. "That's Juliana. Her name is Juliana."

"Juliana would want you to save your hand."

"Fuck it!" the boy cried, leaping to his feet. "I'm going to kill those guys!"  
"No!" Callie grabbed him as he rushed toward the cafeteria doors and he spun, punching her hard in the face. Twice. Stars exploded behind her eyes and she recoiled. She felt her teeth cut into her lip and enough blood to rival a severed artery spilled from her nose. Police officers grabbed him and wrestled him from the lunchroom and into a waiting squad car. Callie tilted her head back, pinching the bridge of her nose as she growled every variation of every curse word she'd ever heard.

The officer who had a daughter inside the building handed her a lunchroom towel and she mopped at her face, saying, "This is the part of the dream where I wake up. Any minute now. I'm ready to wake up. I have had enough of this day! This entire week!"

"Ma'am, you need to calm down." He laid a hand on her arm. "Just breathe."

"I can't breathe! My airway is rapidly swelling shut!" she snapped, then threw the towel into the floor. "We can't just keep doing nothing!"

The loud crackling of a police radio silenced the officer's response and Callie listened as the SWAT team was given the order to enter the building. She heard someone comment behind her that it was "showtime" and she closed her eyes for just a second, sending up a silent prayer. Shadows of several armed men moved past the stained glass windows of the cafeteria doors and she held her breath a second, waiting to hear gun fire. When nothing happened, the officer nearest the door said something into his radio and lifted his arm, motioning for the other officers to follow him out into the corridor.

"I'm coming with you." Callie grabbed the officer by the arm.

"What's your name?" he asked her.

"Dr. Callie Torres."

"Dr. Torres, there are armed people out there and you don't have any protective gear on. Go outside and wait in the cruiser."

"What's your name?" she asked him.

"Sergeant Harrison Dean."

"Well, Sarge, I am a doctor and I don't give two shits about what I am or am not wearing. Patients are out in that hall and patient trumps shooter."

"Do you get that you could die!?" he shouted, clearly agitated by the fact that she was holding him up.

"Do you get that one life is no more valuable than another?"

"Fine!" He shook her hand off his arm. "But you stay out of the way!"

Callie pulled up the rear, accompanied by a gaggle of paramedics. Nothing could have prepared her for the macabre scene around her. It felt like something from a horror film and she rushed into action, kneeling next to the first patient, who had a thready pulse and shallow breathing. The damage to the child's throat was extensive and Callie glanced up at the medic, saying, "She needs a breathing tube!"

"We don't-"

"Get a straw from the cafeteria!" Callie snapped, and within minutes of being handed a bendy straw, an incision had been made in the girl's throat and an emergency tracheotomy was complete.

Two more victims were dead and several more had minor flesh wounds. More medics had arrived on the scene and Callie moved further down the hallway, listening to the shouts of the SWAT team just ahead. They had not located the gunmen yet and it was unnerving. She opened a classroom and several students screamed. Holding up her hands to show that she was unarmed, she told them to stay where they were. Too many fallen children occupied the floor of the hallway and if she could spare their classmates seeing it, she would do her best.

"What the hell are you doing, Dr. Torres?"

She jumped, laying a hand over her heart. "Checking for victims, Sarge," she snapped. "What the hell are you doing?"

"You had your panties in a twist to get out here so why are you peeking behind closed doors?"

"Look, it took you long enough to your ass out here so why don't you find something cop-like to do instead of harassing me?"

A whisper of a smile passed over his face. "Keep in this end of the building. I mean it. We're securing the rest of the school and you do not come any father up this hallway until we give the all clear. Understand?"

"Do your job and let me do mine."

"I mean it!"

"Go!"

He retreated down the hallway and she shook her head. Her hand was on the doorknob of the second classroom when several shouts followed by a flurry of gunshots rang out. Dropping onto her stomach, she pressed herself as close to the wall as she could. It seemed to last an eternity, but finally it stopped and she lifted her head in time to hear two words that anyone would dread hearing. "Officer down."

In her gut she knew who was down. She prayed that she wasn't right ... because she had goaded him into leaving the safety of the cafeteria.

Pushing herself to her feet, she raced down the hallway, elbowing through the crowd. Sergeant Dean was on his back, thrashing and reaching helplessly into the crowd. The bullet proof vest he wore had not afforded him the necessary side protection and from the looks of things, the bullet had entered just under his left arm. Dangerously close to his heart.

"Help me get this off him!" she cried, pulling at the Velcro of the vest. Two sets of hands joined hers and they quickly pulled it from his body. Using the stethoscope she had worn into the career day meeting, she listened to his heart and could hear the blood that was filling his chest cavity. He could die within minutes. As she listened, his heart stopped.

She helped load him on the gurney and jumped on top of him, straddling his body as she began chest compressions.

As a rule, emergency rooms are chaotic. Any doctor who takes a position in an emergency room must have two things: nerves of steel and a stomach of iron. The four interns who stood huddled together waiting for the next round of patients to arrive appeared to possess neither. Christina was hugging herself, her arms wrapped tightly around her mid section as if she had a stomach ache. Alex was a little green around the gills and had absolutely nothing to say. George and Meredith were both staring into space, pale and drawn.

Usually, the sound of an incoming ambulance wailing in the distance would cause Christina to bounce up and down on the balls of her feet in anticipation. However, as the siren drew closer, she sighed and said, "How many more can there possibly freaking be?"

Alex shrugged. "God only knows."

The ambulance came up the drive fast and the back doors were open before the vehicle came to a complete stop. A police cruiser squealed to a stop behind the ambulance and three officers jumped out, each of them carrying their hats instead of wearing them. The interns rushed forward and were stunned to see Callie, sitting astride a police officer doing compressions. If there was an inch of her that was not splattered with blood, it couldn't be seen with the naked eye.

The male EMT began to fire off the patient's stats as they literally ran with him into the hospital. Once inside, Chief Webber, who had just lost a patient in the operating room, took control of the situation and began issuing orders. If Callie heard him telling her to back off and let Olivia take over the compressions she didn't acknowledge it. A fresh stream of blood was running from her nose and sweat was pouring from her, the dried blood making it run in pink rivulets.

George stepped forward, laying his hand on her arm so that Olivia could maneuver in front of her. "Callie? They've got this under control. You're hurt. You need to come with me."

His voice seemed to jar her back to her senses and she looked around, as if realizing for the first time that she was at the hospital. Glancing down at Sergeant Dean, she gasped. He couldn't die. She couldn't let him die. Strong hands gripped her arms, as she reached back up to begin compressions again, and she slipped from the gurney. She pulled away, walking out of the room and into the hallway where several of the school children who had escaped unscathed came rushing up to her. She stumbled over her own feet and the jock in the football uniform grabbed her, keeping her on her feet. She was vaguely aware that George had followed behind her and was yelling at the kids to give her some room. She heard herself telling the kids that it would be okay and that they needed to wait in the lobby, then turned and picked up a chart. "Don't shout at these kids, George! They've been through hell."

"What are you doing?" George asked her.

"There are so many patients. I have to help."  
Dr. Bailey, who had been standing at the nurse's station gently took the chart from Callie's hand and laid it back in the rack. "Dr. Torres," she said gently. "You can't see patients when you're covered up in someone else's blood and from the looks of it, some of it belongs to you. Let O'Malley make sure you're okay and then hit the shower."

"She's right," George told her, staring at her face, at the steady trickle of blood that still ran from her nose. He reached up, touching her swollen lip and said, "What happened?"

The images from inside the school cafeteria flashed through her mind and she shook her head in an attempt to clear it. "I - I got punched."

"Order a head CT, O'Malley, and make a chart for her. Now." Bailey finished the chart she was working on and looked at Callie. "You did good, Dr. Torres. All these kids have been singing your praises and-"

"How much will they sing my praises when they find out that Sergeant Dean is in there because of me? Because of me!" Shaking her head, Callie turned on her heel and hurried away.

George got sidetracked by two sets of parents who were rapidly approaching hysteria when he tried to follow Callie. When he had calmed them as best he could, he began looking for her in earnest. He searched the bathrooms and showers, the break room, and the courtyard to no avail. Recalling her story about September 11, he headed to the roof and called her name. He was about to page her when he realized that he knew exactly where she had gone. He rushed down the stairs into the basement and pushed open the doors of the back room that she had called home for so long.

He was relieved to see her sitting in the floor, her back against the wall, in the same spot that her air mattress had been. His happiness at finding her was short lived, however, when he realized that she was sobbing. She had her arms wrapped around her knees and her face buried, but he heard her and kneeled down next to her. "It's okay," he whispered, placing his hand on hers. "It's over."

"Leave me alone."

"Talk to me." He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand. Several long minutes passed with nothing but the sound of her sniffling. Finally, he shook her a little. "Come on. You're getting this cat scan."

"I'm fine."

"We're not debating it. Get up." He tugged on her sleeve. "I mean it!"

"I thought I had seen everything," she cried, finally lifting her face to his. "Those kids! Oh my god..."

He pulled her against his chest, unable to stare at the pain that was etched on her battered face. "I know."

"It happened so fast. One minute I was talking to them and the next - the next - Some fine example I was. I hit the ground and covered my head while those children were mowed down!"

"What were you supposed to do? Jump between everyone?"

"I should have done something."

"Stop it! You're not the Defender of the Universe. You're human! You could have been killed, Callie. And then you couldn't have helped anyone."

She closed her eyes, breathing in the familiar scent of his cologne. She turned, wrapping her arms around him as if clinging to a life line. Wrapped in a cocoon of safety, she let it go. She cried, letting her pain rip from her very gut, safe in the knowledge that he was catching all of it for her and that he would put her back together.

George felt the lump in his own throat as he held her even tighter. He could hear himself whispering nonsense, telling her that it was okay, that he had her, to let it go. And then, surprising himself with his honesty, he said, "God help me, Callie, I love you. I love you so much."

If she heard his words she didn't let on.

He didn't repeat it.

But he held on as if he'd never let go again.

CH7

"That's three that we lost in surgery. It's always threes or sevens." Addison set a cafeteria tray full of hot chocolate on the counter of the nurse's station. "Dig in, people! Get your JuJu right here."

Alex picked up a cup and took a sip. "How many more are still in surgery?"

"Two. But more victims could arrive any time. Three hours after the shooting and they still haven't found the last gunman!" Addison leaned back against the wall and closed her eyes. "This is a nightmare."

"How is Torres?"

Addy shook her head. "I only got to see her for a second, but she was pretty broken."

"Did she go home?"

"No. She's on the fourth floor." Addison took a sip of her own cocoa. "Chief Webber is making her stay overnight. I'm pretty sure he signed off a pretty potent cocktail to help her sleep."

"She needs it." Alex studied Addy's face, noting the dark circles under her eyes and the way her hand shook as she brought her cup to her mouth again. "You okay?"

"I'm really not." Her eyes filled with tears and she set her cup down. "Granted she's my new best friend, but Callie could have died."

In the hallway, in plain view of anyone who wanted to look, Alex took a step forward and hugged her in a lover's embrace. He tightened his grip when she gasped and tried to pull away. "Stop, Addison."

"Karev-"

"We already covered this once. It's Alex. You like to call me that when you co-"

"Dr. Karev, what the hell are you doing?"

Alex quickly stepped away, trying to appear nonchalant as Bailey put her hands on her hips and stared from one to the other. One of her eyebrows danced upward and she shook her head. "What is wrong with you fools? All of you act like this is Booty Call Central." She stared at Addison. "And what did I just tell you the other day? About not needing a man?"

"Karev isn't actually a man." Addison's cheeks were as red as her hair.

"Ouch!" Alex glared at her. "But I got the damn job done. Twice. Didn't I?"

"Too much information, Karev." Bailey crossed her arms. "You better go find something to do before I find myself in a bad mood."

Alex walked off, shooting a knowing grin at Addison before he opened the door to the stairwell. Bailey watched him go, eyes narrowed, then hit Addison on the arm with a chart when he had vanished behind the door. "Addison Montgomery-Shepherd! Are you out of your mind?"

"Yes!" Addy massaged her bicep, frowning. "I would have to be because I actually like him."

"I'm sorry. I must be hearing things. Did you just say that you like him? The same him that possesses the attitude that has had you whining to me for weeks? The same him who you just told me three weeks ago that you wanted to string up and fillet? That him?"

When Addy didn't answer, Miranda crossed her arms. "Or is this your way of getting back at Derek? Your very own intern to play with?"

Her jaw almost hit the floor and Addison gasped. "I'll have you know that I haven't thought of Derek or his beloved intern once since Alex and I-"

"Because if that were the case, I'd have to tell you that Alex Karev may act like he's a world class ass, but he's one of my favorite interns and if you are using him-"

"I am not listening to this!" Addy snapped, tossing her hands in the air.  
Alex was waiting in the stairwell when Addison shoved the door open and stomped inside, growling her frustration through clenched teeth. He grinned and caught her arm. "I don't know which feels better ... that I'm Bailey's favorite or that you like me."

"Eavesdropping is rude!" She shoved him away from her. "And wipe that smug little smile off your face!"

"Sorry, it just feels so damn good."

"She said you were one of her favorites. Everyone knows that O'Malley is the teacher's pet!"

"You like me. You really, really like me." Alex clasped his hands under his chin and batted his eyelashes at her. "And you told me not to fall for you."

"I'm not falling for you. I am not even leaning far enough in your direction to stumble."

"Yeah. Okay." He crossed the distance between them and kissed her, one hand digging into her hip and the other tangling in her hair. When he pulled back, he saw that she was flushed and he smiled at his handiwork. "You'll stumble, Addison. You'll stumble and fall and when you do I'll be waiting."

Callie stared at the IV in the back of her hand. She was fine. She had the cat scan results to prove that she was fine. No amount of arguing on her part had prevented the Chief from signing her 'admit' orders. Observation, he had said. She had worked at Seattle Grace long enough to realize that 'observation' was usually code for 'we're going to sedate you because we don't know what to do with you and you're scaring us'. She sighed and fingered the tape that was holding the IV in place, seriously considering yanking it out before they could administer any medication.

There were things that she needed to do. She wanted to go to the observation deck and check on Chief Dean and then she wanted an insanely large bottle of Hennessy. Making up her mind, she peeled the tape back and removed the IV. Her door opened at that moment and she swore. George had only been gone for a few minutes, heading out on a mission for fried chicken. It was a relief to see Addison strolling in with her chart. Her elation was short lived, however, when she took one look at the red head's face. "Oh god. What now?"

"Are you okay?" Addy blew an errant strand of hair out of her face when Callie scowled at her. "Okay! Bad question. You're miles from okay."

"Looks like we both are. What happened to you?"

"Why is your IV out?"

"Are we playing twenty questions?" Callie swung her legs over the side of the bed. "I'm not staying. I have a change of clothing in the locker room. Would you get it for me?"

"Oh no!" Addison shook her head. "Absolutely not. I'm already in hot water."

"Why?"

"Bailey knows about Karev. And for his part, Karev is now pursuing me like I'm a broodmare."

"A broodmare? Well, he is a horse's ass. Like to like or whatever." Callie grinned at her. "Bailey's not going to tell anyone."

"The ass probably will." Addy opened the chart and scanned through it. "The good news is that you're going to be sleeping like a baby as soon as the nurse comes in with your meds."

"I'm escaping. Remember?" Callie stood, wrapping the sheet around her body, including her head, leaving her face exposed in the oval. "How's this? No one can tell it's me."

"Yeah, that's so incognito. No one's going to raise an eyebrow." Laying the chart on the lunch tray, Addison marched around the bed and pushed her back onto it. "You're staying. If I have to raise the alarm I will."

"I'm fine!"

"You're not fine." Addison sat down next to her, nudging her with her shoulder. "I actually prayed for you. Me and the church had a falling out right around the time I cheated on Derek and became a pariah with the congregation. But I went to the chapel earlier, while you were at the school, and I prayed for you. On my knees and everything."  
"I'm touched. I'd be a lot more touched if you would go get my clothes!"

"O'Malley was in the chapel. He was crying."

Callie pushed the sheet off her head and exhaled. "He told me he loved me."

"Hence the great escape? I thought that's what you wanted."

"He only said it because I was upset at the time. And maybe because I could have died."

"Yeah, that argument would make sense if he hadn't told me the same thing HOURS before the school thing."

"George told you he loved you?"

"And you think you don't need to spend the night in the hospital?" Smiling a little, Addison nudged her again. "He told me that he loves YOU, idiot."

Callie grinned. "Really?"

"Really. And if we could please stop sounding like Izzie and Meredith I'd appreciate it."

"You started it." Callie let the sheet drop back down to her waist. "So, Alex thinks you're his little filly?"

"Stop with the horse metaphors!" Addison laughed a little. "We're doctors! We are medical professionals and we sound like girls at a slumber party!"

"Want me to braid your hair?"

"Want me to put your IV back in so no one knows what you tried to do?"

"Oooh! Friends with medical benefits!" She sighed, then nodded. "Looks like I'm going to be drugged for the night."

Five minutes later the old IV had found its way into the trash and the new one had been placed not far from the original site. Addison was just securing the tape when the nurse entered, carrying quite a few bottles and two syringes. "Oh, Debbie," Addison flashed her a brilliant smile. "She snagged the tape on the blanket."

Debbie hurried forward, depositing her loot on the table. "Does it feel okay, Dr. Torres?"

"It just pulled a little." Callie shrugged. "It's okay."

"If you get any burning just tell me. Okay?"

"You got it."

George opened the door, loaded down with food and huge stuffed bear, and smiled. "Looks like I'm just in time. Hopefully you can eat before that knocks you out."

Debbie frowned at him as she administered the first shot. "I ordered dinner for her."

"You've eaten at the hospital, Deb. We want her to live." Addison plucked a chicken leg from the bucket that George held out to her and took a bite. "Mmm, thank you! And I have to go. You need anything?" she asked Callie.

"Can you check on Sergeant Dean?" Callie said quietly, watching the medication going in.

"He's out of surgery and the prognosis is good. His family is with him. And his daughter is fine." George finished scooping cole slaw onto a paper plate and sat it down in front of Callie, grinning from ear to ear. "The chicken is crispy. Just the way you like it."

Conflicting emotions flashed over Callie's ravaged face. Relief sparred with guilt -- survivor guilt and oh-lord-I-pushed-that-cop-too-hard guilt -- and the guilt won. She dissolved into tears.

"Hey now. It's okay." George pushed the table away so he could sit down on the bed, facing her. "That's good news."

"It's my fault."

"We had this discussion already. It's not your fault." He took her hand, brushing her hair away from her face.

"He's right," Addison said, moving a little closer to the bed as Debbie quietly left the room. "You can't blame yourself."

Callie opened her mouth to reply, but shut it quickly. It felt like her mattress was floating in the air. She gripped the blanket, trying to steady herself and blinked several times in a futile attempt to focus. George's face danced in front of her and she laid her hand on his cheek. "You have pretty eyes. Big. Poodle eyes."

"Oooo-kay." George smiled at her, then at Addison. "I think it's safe to say that Callie has left the building."

"Big, big eyes," Callie mumbled as he urged her further down into the bed. "And good hands. Strong, good hands. They saved the heart guy in the elevator."

"That's right." He pulled the cover up, tucking it under her chin.

"Don't forget to save me, too."

George watched as she closed her eyes, heard her breathing deepen. He picked up her untouched plate of food and begin scraping the contents back into the containers. Addison cleared her throat behind him and he turned, glancing at her. "You want some dinner?"

"No." She shook her head, watching him for a few seconds. "She needs you."

"I know."

"She doesn't need you the way that Izzie needed you after Denny died, George. She needs her lover to love her through this. Don't just hold her hand. Hold her heart."

"I'll have to hold hers. She's got mine."

Addison nodded and left the room.

Smiling.

CH8

It was after midnight when Addison plopped down on a stool at The Emerald City Bar. She picked up a peanut and cracked the shell, but she didn't eat it. Instead, she let it drop to the floor beside her and rested her chin in the palm of her hand. She sighed when Joe stopped in front of her, wiping a few tiny remnants of the shell away with a rag. With a sigh, she said, "Hennessy. One shot. For Callie."

"How is Callie?" Joe asked. "It was all over the news."

She told him while he poured the drink, but she didn't lift it when he set it in front of her. She trailed her fingertip around the rim of the glass. "I hate this," she finally said.

"Then why did you order it?"

"Not the drink! This!"

"This what?"

"This not knowing!" she snapped, as if he should have known all along. "Life is unpredictable. Isn't it?"

"Yeah." Joe nodded, letting the towel rest over his shoulder. He had dealt with enough patrons to know when someone needed to talk. "That it is."

"I mean, we don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. We don't know if our friends will be hurt or if we can't control ourselves and will have sex with absolutely the wrong person. And we don't know if life will go the way we planned it or if we'll fall for someone who is so repulsive and gross that it makes you sick to think about it."

Joe watched her for a second. "Have you been drinking already, Addy?"

Alex suddenly sat down on the stool next to her and picked up her shot, downing it smoothly. "No. And she isn't going to start now. It's not pretty when she imbibes."

Addison rolled her eyes. "For the love of God!! Is it not enough for you to stalk me at the hospital?"

"Nope." With a grin, he cracked open a peanut and tossed it in his mouth.

"Go away, Karev."

"Nope."

She turned, glaring at him. "What do you want? What?"

"You promised me dinner."

She gestured around them, at the bar. "Sorry, but my idea of dinner isn't some sleazy dive with watered down liquor and peanuts! So go away."

"Hey," Joe said, glancing up from the glass that he was wiping down. "This may be a sleazy dive, but I don't water down a thing."

"You keep eavesdropping like that and they'll have to offer you a job at the hospital," Addison told Joe. To Alex, she added, "You want to take me to dinner? Give me one good reason to let you."

"I already gave you two very powerful, toe curling reasons." He smiled, enjoying the way her brow wrinkled when she narrowed her eyes at him. "Okay, okay. Because I've waited patiently for you to realize that Derek is a piece of shit and you deserve better. I want to be the man, Addison. Give me a chance to deserve you."

His words were toe curling on their own. She collected her thoughts, touched to the core by what he'd said. "You get that we've had one romantic encounter. One." She held up a finger. "You can't possibly know -"

"Did it ever occur to you that I keep complaining about working with you so you'll keep me. Out of spite?"

She lowered her hand and shook her head. "I wasn't keeping you out of spite. I swear to God, I'll kill you if you mock me, but I like having you work with me. You annoy the hell out of me ... but you also challenge me."

"You mean I don't take any crap."

"Precisely. You call me on everything."

"We're good together. In all ways." He leaned forward, pushing her hair over her shoulder. "You know it, too. So why fight it?"

"It's just so soon after Derek and -"

"Why would you let Derek dictate the terms of your happiness when it's clearly over with him?"

"I -I'm not letting Der-"

"What? You afraid of the intern jokes you'll hear about me? Afraid that since I'm a little younger people will talk?"

"No. And you are not that much younger."

"Then what are you waiting for?"

"What are you asking me for, Alex? It was supposed to be dinner ... not a marriage proposal."

"How about an indecent proposal instead?" He took her hand in his, letting his fingers trace her palm. "You don't have to sleep alone tonight. That's all I'm saying."

She sighed, staring into his soft hazel eyes. "Do you know that your eyes change color with your mood?"

"The color they are right now? That's horny."

Addison punched him lightly on the arm. "And my hair matches my temper."

"It matches other things, too." He let his hand slide up her thigh, enjoying the way she gasped, but didn't stop him.

"Okay, get a room!" Joe leaned against the bar, staring from one to the other. "Because I'm going to have to make the jukebox play cheap porno music if you keep this up. Go! Pay me later!"

"My place or yours?" Alex asked innocently, sliding off the stool.

Addison, her face burning brightly with a fire that only he could fuel for some reason, wordlessly followed him.

A nightmare, violent and shocking, jarred Callie from her slumber. She gasped, springing upright in the bed. The sun was just starting to rise and she watched the explosion of color through the window as she waited for her heart rate to return to normal. As the room lightened, she realized that George was sprawled out on a cot just a few feet away. He was sleeping on his stomach, one arm dangling toward the floor and she smiled a little, despite the remnants of the dream that she couldn't quite shake. As quietly as she could, she disconnected the IV, and walked into the bathroom.

Her reflection was every bit as horrific as she had anticipated it would be. For nothing to be broken in her face it certainly had presented with varying shades of black and blue and her top lip was easily twice its usual size. She gingerly brushed her teeth with the tiny toothbrush the hospital supplied, hissing in pain when her lip protested to being asked to move. Even though she had showered the night before, she felt a hundred times better when she washed her face and pushed her hair into something that resembled normalcy.

George was standing just outside the door when she emerged. "You okay?" he asked softly.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up." She studied him, the way his hair stuck up on one side, the way his shirt had come untucked from his pants, and her heart flipped in her chest. She was so in love with him that it hurt. Reaching out, she straightened his collar which had turned under.

He caught her hand and pulled her forward, wrapping his arms around her. Kissing her neck, he hugged her even closer, whispering, "I do love you, Callie."

"You don't have to-"

"I'm not." Easing back, he shook his head, staring into her eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't say it sooner, but it doesn't change the fact that it's there. And it's real. It's been real for a while now and I'm just a big idiot who-"

"George-"

"Look, all I'm asking you to do is think about it. Think about us. Think about giving it another chance. I know it's-"

"George!"

"What?!"

"Shut up."

He straightened as if she had slapped him. "I -"

"I have something to say to you."

"Okay," he replied, then pointed at the bed. "You should sit down."

"I'm okay."

"I'll feel better if you do." He pushed her back toward the bed.

She resisted at first, but he eventually won and she waited patiently for him to reconnect her IV. "I don't really need that."

"Chief Webber hasn't released you yet. You're stuck." He smiled nervously and sat beside her. "I'm all ears. What do have to say?"

Swallowing hard, she turned to face him. "I shouldn't have tried to make you choose between me and your friends. I was wrong to do that and it shouldn't have upset me as much as it did. Truthfully? The way you treat the people you love is one of the things that attracted me to you in the first place. I shouldn't have-"

"I should have told you what happened in Denny's room. I should have included you more."

"Your friends don't like me."

The look on George's face confirmed that her words were true. He squeezed her hand and said, "They just need to get to know you better. Which they will."

She wasn't convinced, but she didn't comment further about it. Instead, she said, "I'm also sorry that I moved at warp speed."

"Stop. I already told you that I shouldn't have said that to you."

"You shouldn't have said a lot of things to me."

"And I should have said quite a few other things."

"I hate that you have this power over me. I don't want to want you like I do." Her tears spilled over and she angrily swiped them away. "I don't know how to make this work with you. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do!"

"You haven't told me you love me in a while now. Maybe you should start there."

"Don't hurt me, George."

Leaning forward, he kissed her forehead. "I won't."

She hugged him and softly, barely whispered, "I love you. I really, really love you."

"Knock knock!" Izzie poked her head in the room and drew up short when she saw the tearful embrace taking place. "I'm sorry! We can come back."

"No, it's okay," Callie replied, sniffling as she dried her eyes. If there was an olive branch to be extended it may as well start now. She was genuinely shocked when she realized that Izzie and Meredith were both carrying huge bouquets of flowers.

Izzie grinned at her, putting the gigantic rose bouquet on the window seat. "These are from me and Meredith."

"Wow. They're beautiful. Thank you." Shell shocked, Callie smiled as best she could with a lip the size of a golf ball.

"And these are from the police department," Meredith told her, setting a large arrangement of wildflowers next to it. "It's a madhouse downstairs. Be glad you got knocked out."

"Did you sleep okay?" Izzie asked, sitting down on the cot that George had used. "I peeked at your chart. I'm surprised you're not in a coma."

"I pretty much died," Callie replied, still trying to wrap her head around the fact that Izzie Stevens was regarding her with something other than contempt. To Meredith, she said, "How's your mother?"

"Better. She asked for you. By name. Well, she called you Dr. T., but still, she's never lucid long enough to remember anyone's name."

"Callie's memorable," George said, smiling at her. "So, what's going on downstairs?"

"Chief Webber is getting ready for the second press conference in the last twenty four hours." Meredith glanced at the clock. "Actually, the second one in twelve hours. He's been up all night."

"How many deaths were there?" Callie asked. "Altogether?"

Meredith and Izzie both looked at George. He took a deep breath and said, "Twenty six."

"But," Meredith offered. "We successfully treated over thirty wounded kids here. That's not even counting the victims that went to other hospitals."

"I heard all about the emergency trach you did," Izzie said to Callie. "Did you really use a bendy straw?"

"Yeah. I watched someone do it on 9/11."

"She made it, by the way," George said. "The girl with the bendy straw."

"And so did the boy who mangled your face." Meredith grinned and shook her head. "He was asking about you in recovery. That was the first thing he said when he woke up. 'How's that hot doctor I punched?'."

"Did they save his hand?" Callie asked.

"No. They amputated it below the wrist."

"I'll go see him as soon as someone let's me out of here. He - he didn't really know what he was doing." With a sigh, Callie reached up and touched her nose. "Or maybe I should wait. I don't want to scare him."

Everyone chuckled. Izzie leaned forward, her elbows on her knees. "Those officers wanted to come up and bring you the flowers themselves, but Bailey wouldn't let them. They- they told us what you did."

"What I did?"

"Yeah," Meredith said. "You ran right into the line of fire to save Sergeant Dean. Two other officers got hit in the leg while you were working on him. They said that there were bullets whizzing all around you, but you ignored it."

The mention of the Sergeant brought back a boat load of guilt for Callie and she massaged her forehead, trying to forget the conversation that led up to the shooting. "The last thing I remember was hearing gunfire and someone screaming that an officer was down. If - if there were gunshots after that I have thankfully repressed it."

"Your IV isn't working." Izzie stood, fussing with the tubing until it began to drip freely again. "What nurse attached this? You should complain. They didn't even start the drip!"

"That would be me." George shrugged innocently. "In my defense, though, I almost lost the woman I love so I'm not all here."

"That is exactly why we're not allowed to work on the people we love." Meredith said, then frowned at Izzie, realizing what she had said. "Uh-"

"It's fixed. Oh! They killed the gunmen. Finally," Izzie said, trying to pretend that she hadn't noticed that the tension could suddenly be cut with a knife. "Gunboys. All three of them were fifteen years old. Raunchy little bastards."

"What's happened to the world?" Meredith asked the room at large. "When I was fifteen I was thinking about makeup, parties, and boys. I never thought about guns."

"That's because you're pretty." Callie said, then swallowed hard. "I just mean when you're not pretty the world is an entirely different place. When I was fifteen I was thinking about the best way to avoid having my glasses broken for the millionth time or choked with the wire around my neck that was attached to the horrible braces. The football team actually held me down and shaved off my eyebrows once. The coach stopped them after he laughed his ass of and offered me a job as the mascot." She shrugged. "I never thought about killing my classmates, but I do on occasion picture someone's face when I'm a breaking a bone."

"They shaved your eyebrows off?" George asked her, stunned.

"Oh god, that wasn't even close to the worst thing. I was locked in the boiler room for four days, and shot with paint balls on several occasions, most notably during the homecoming dance. But my personal favorite was being duct taped to the bottom of the bleachers during a football game. I was stuck there until the next morning."

"Oh my god!" Izzie said, scandalized. "What did you do about it?"

"Stuck my nose further in the books and graduated early." Callie shrugged. "My mother tried to complain, but I'm weird. I admit that I'm weird. People pretty much figure you deserve what you get when don't fit the cookie cutter image."

Before anyone could reply, Chief Webber came in, chart in hand, and said, "I think I'm going to admit myself as soon as I'm through discharging you."

Everyone laughed.

But no one's heart was in it.

CH9

Callie stood in the stairwell, staring down the hallway at the small gang of uniformed police officers who had gathered outside Sergeant Dean's room. She had showered and changed into fresh clothing. She had even given herself a pep talk in the mirror and had left the locker room feeling like she was ready to face anything, but as she rested her hand on the door knob she realized that her knees were knocking. It had been foolish to tell George that she wanted to do this alone and she contemplated calling him for a second before she shook her head, lifted her chin, and squared her shoulders. George had not been a part of what happened inside that school, hadn't witnessed the aftermath, and would never fully understand it.

To Hell with it, she thought, smoothing back her ponytail. She was going to open that door, walk down that hallway, and apologize to Sergeant Dean. Any minute now. It would be done!

She promptly moved away from the door and sat down on the steps, burying her face in her hands. "I can't do it!"

"Can't do what?" Addison asked, plopping down next to her. "I have chocolate. And since you look like you just saw a Dementor out there I think you need it."

"You read Harry Potter too?" Callie broke off a piece of the Hershey bar and took a small bite.

"Religiously," she replied. "So, what's going on?"

"There's a day to face. And even though my current one is mangled I should make with the facing."

Leaning back, Addison nodded. "It's not that bad. It looks like a collagen injection gone wrong. Remind me to tell you about the time Mark Sloan convinced me to let him do that to me. I looked like I had kept the vacuum hose on my lips for a month."

"Eww." Callie frowned. "And thanks for making me feel oh so much better about it."

"I do what I can." She held out the candy bar again. "It doesn't have carbs or calories if you help me eat it."

"I don't want it, but thanks." Resting her head against the wall, Callie sighed. "What did you do last night?"

"Alex Karev."

"Again?" Callie wrinkled her nose. "You should skip the chocolate and go straight for the liquor at this point."

"I know."

"But you like him."

"I shouldn't like him. And that fact has been percolating in my alleged brain all day. But my hormones have pretty much taken over." Addison finished off her candy bar and wadded the wrapper. "It's going to be a bumpy road, I think."

"If he hurts you I can legally break his bones."

"If O'Malley hurts you I can - well, I was going to say give him a hysterectomy, but that would be rude. Let's just say that Lorena Bobbit has nothing on me."

"We're kinda pathetic."

Addison smiled at her. "You are. I'm not the one in a deserted stairwell having conversations with myself."

"I'm not the one with percolating hormones!"

"Stop quoting me unless you can do it right." She grinned, then pushed herself to her feet and held out her hand. "Come on."

Callie put her hand in Addison's and let the red head tug her to her feet. She was shocked when Addison wrapped her in a tight hug. She exhaled, feeling the tension diminish slightly as she hugged back. "Thanks, Addy."

"If you need me I'll be right outside the door." Addison pulled back, grinning at her. "All those cops and I'm on my lunch break."

"And you're hoping that Alex sees you flirting."

"He can percolate in his own juices."

"We need new verbs. Stat."

Addison chuckled and pulled the door open. Callie walked past her, into the hallway and drew up short. Thunderous applause greeted her and she almost turned and rushed back into the stairwell, but Addison caught her arm and pulled her along beside her. The police officers were clapping, whistling and cheering. She felt herself blushing like an idiot, but tried to lose the 'deer in headlights look' she knew she was sporting. Pulling her lips into a semblance of a smile, she reached out, shaking the first of the hands that were extended toward her.

She caught their comments in disjointed fragments as everyone was speaking at once. Finally, one of the older officers shouted for people to shut up. He put his arm around her shoulders and said, "Dr. Torres, my name is Chief Barker. But you can call me James."

"Callie," she replied. "How is Sergeant Dean?"

"Feisty as hell! Refuses to eat hospital food. Thinks we owe it to him to go find him a roast beef sandwich."

"You think he's up for another visitor?"

"For you? Absolutely. He ran us out." He pushed the door open and nudged her inside. "Tell him his food will be here soon."

Visiting with patients was something she had done a million and one times, but as she pushed back the curtain and gazed down at him, she felt her heart flip in her chest. "Hi," she said softly.

"You better be glad that I'm attached to all this equipment, Doc, because if I was able to get out of this bed you'd be across my knee in a heartbeat."

"Huh?" she asked, then felt foolish at how juvenile she sounded.

"What did I tell you? I specifically said for you to stay behind the group. And to stay out of trouble!"

"Which one of us got shot?"

"I damn well had on protective gear!"

"And boy it worked really damn well!" She picked up his chart from the foot of the bed. "Will you look at that? They haven't ordered an attitude adjustment so maybe I can just pencil that in!"

"I will heal, you know?" he told her. "I think I'm going to make it my mission to give you a ticket every chance I get."

"I can totally stop your pain meds."

"Or you could come around here and let me give you a hug."

Her throat constricted a little and she swallowed hard. Moving to his unbandaged side she leaned down and hugged him. "I'm really sorry about those things I said to you, Sarge."

"What things?"

Callie sat down on the bed next to him. "It - it was my fault that you got shot. You were aggravated that I was being so-"

Reaching out, he lifted her hand in his. "You have got to be kidding me! I was telling Chief Barker this morning that you missed your calling as a cop. You were brave and strong and stupid as hell, but you saved my life."

"After I got you shot."

"I'm sorry. I didn't notice that you had a gun that day. Those boys are the reason I got shot." He reached up, brushing away the tear that dropped onto her cheek. "Of course, I'm getting my ass ribbed really good about a girl saving me, but I figure if a girl had to do it ... you were the best one for the job."

"I think 'woman' was the term you were looking for."

"You remind me of my daughter. She's strong like you."

"I'm not that strong."

"If she grows up to be just like you I won't complain." He smiled up at her. "I bet your father is so proud of you."

"I wouldn't know. He left my mom when she was pregnant with me."

"Then I bet your mother is proud enough of you for both."

"Actually my mom died on 9/11. I don't have any family."

He studied her, his eyes misting a little. "You do now."

Alex narrowed his eyes when he saw what held the interest of several police officers. Addison had seated herself on the ledge of the nurse's station. She was happily swinging her feet back and forth while she laughed far too loudly at something that probably wasn't very funny to begin with. He narrowed his eyes and forgot that he was supposed to be checking labs for Bailey. Moving closer to the station, he pretended to be absorbed in a stack of papers behind the counter.  
"I'm telling you it's true," a young cop said, smiling up at her. "He was butt naked and walked right up to me and asked if I had the time."

"What did you do?" Addison asked, glancing to her left at Alex, whose jaw muscles were so tight that she figured there would be dental work in his future.

"I told him he could get the time off the ticket I was giving him for indecent exposure."

"Dr. Montgomery," Alex said. "I'm working on an important case and I could use your help."

"Oh?" She turned a little, smiling at him. "What kind of case?"

"Uh- well, it's - it's a - uhm - man who - who needs a second opinion about a - uhm - procedure."

She held up her badge. "Gynecologist. It says so right, uhm, here."

The officers laughed and Alex felt his temper bubbling to the surface. "But you're also an attending and I can't find anyone else."

"Unless your patient grows a vagina-"

"Unless you want me to complain to the chief -"

"Oooooh, anything but that." She held up her hands and started to slip off the side. Several of the cops came forward and the quickest one put his hands around her waist and lifted her down. "Thank you," she said, smiling up at him. "Tom, right?"

"Whatever you want to call me, gorgeous."

She winked at him, then gasped when Alex shouldered his way through the little crowd and gripped her upper arm. When they were out of earshot, she jerked free and said, "What was that?"

"Anger!" he snapped. "You spent the night with me, Addison. I thought that meant -"

"Meant what? I thought we were taking it slow!"

"Taking it slow with each other! I'm not going to watch you do other guys!"

"Alex-"

"No! Forget it. We're done."

She cocked her head to one side. "You don't get to break up with me."

"You've made it very clear that there is nothing between us."

Addison caught his arm as he started to turn away. "Yes, there is. Okay? I said it. I want to be with you."

Alex narrowed his eyes at her. "You better not be playing me."

"I'm not."

"Because I don't do this, Addison. I don't fall like this." He held his arms out. "But here I am. Take a good look. I'm falling for you and I'm giving you the power to destroy me. And hoping that you don't."

The hallway was crowded, but Addison didn't care. His words moved something inside her. She reached forward, grabbed him by the lapels of his white jacket, and kissed him. Hard. Everyone would know about them now.

And she couldn't care less.

George followed Callie into her hotel room and smiled when she quickly picked up a bra and threw it into the closet. He had invited her back to his house, but she had declined. He knew that she was still hurting from the way he had blasted the fact that he didn't want to live with her. He pushed the door shut behind him and watched as she toed off her shoes and rolled her shoulders. The tension that she felt had been evident in the car and he stepped forward, helping her as she shrugged out of her jacket. He put his own coat over hers on the back of the chair and took a deep breath. "You hungry?"

"I'm really not."

"You didn't eat today. And you didn't have dinner last night."

"George, if you want to play food police then go monitor Izzie's baking." She closed her eyes for a second and shook her head. "God, I'm sorry. I -"

"I know." He hugged her, pulling her close to him. "And Izzie's on her own. This is our time."

She wrapped her arms around him, hanging on as if he were a lifeline. "Thank you."

He breathed deep, inhaling the sweet vanilla scent that was hers alone. Tangling his fingers in her soft hair, he kissed her neck, then her cheek. Gently, he pressed his lips against her swollen ones, then smiled at her. "You're beautiful. That night you wrote your number on my hand I could barely believe it. You smiled at me and my entire body tingled. And I was terrified."

"Why?" she asked softly.

"Because I couldn't understand why you would want me." He put his hand on her waist and the other cupped her cheek. "I made a mess of things because I was scared, but I'm not scared now."

Her eyes filled with tears. "Show me."

"We don't have to-"

"Show me," she repeated, softer now. "Please?"

He nodded, barely. Moving behind her, he swept her hair aside and kissed the back of her neck, enjoying the little shiver that raced through her. He nipped the sensitive skin on her shoulder and put his arms around her, slowly unbuckling her belt. "I love the way you smell," he whispered against her flesh. "You smell like the calm after a rainstorm."

He let his thumbs trail over the smooth flesh of her stomach as inch by inch he lifted her sweater over her head. Still standing behind her, he let his fingers skim up her side, smiling when he felt the gooseflesh. He kissed her bare back and unhooked the clasp on her bra. She brought her hands up to remove it, but he said, "Ah ah ah! I'm doing the showing. Remember?"

She smiled and let her hands fall back to her sides. She bit back a moan when he cupped her breasts, reaching under the bra tweaking her nipples. "George-"

"Hush." He pushed her bra down over her arms and let it fall to the floor. Kneeling, he kissed the small of her back, then urged her to turn around. "God, you're beautiful," he said, his voice hoarse, as he traced her belly button. "Your skin drives me crazy. I love the feel of it pressed against mine. How warm you get when you sleep. You're so hard and tough ... you shouldn't feel this soft."

She opened her mouth to reply, but George stood and kissed her again, feather light. "And your eyes? God, your eyes. You get this little crease right here," he touched her brow. "when you're looking at x-rays. He pushed her bangs aside and pressed a kiss to the spot he had touched. "I could look at you all day."

He unbuttoned her pants and slid the zipper down, bending to push them over her hips. When he stood, he smiled at her, but the smile quickly faded when he saw the tears sliding down her cheeks. "Hey-"

"I'm not hard and tough." Callie chewed her bottom lip. She'd never had body issues, but she felt completely exposed, like her nerve endings were raw under his gaze. "I just pretend to be."

"You don't have to pretend with me. Ever." He rested his hands on her hips and pulled her against him. "I love you. All of you. I swear to God."

"No one has ever loved me."

"I'll love you so much that you won't even notice anyone else." He brushed the tears away with his thumbs and pulled her toward the bed. Easing her down against the colorful comforter, he watched as she lay back and he knew that he would never be the same again. She had given him strength, courage, and the words to speak what his heart had silenced for so long.

He placed his palm against her chest, letting it rise and fall with her breaths. He had run the gamut of emotion in the past twenty four hours and he took a deep breath, leaning his head down over her heart. The steady beats throbbed against his cheek and he closed his eyes. She could have died. She could have left him. "Never leave me," he whispered.

Callie ran her fingers through his hair. She had regained composure of herself, but at his words, she lost the battle. Tears streamed down her face. "How could I?"

He moved lower, kissing the flesh of her belly, the curve of her hip. When she felt his hot breath on her center, she threw her head back and arched up against him. He captured her legs with his arms, holding her against him as his tongue danced against her aching core. "George-" she babbled, her hands fisting in the cover. "Oh god..."

The taste of her was something that he could never grow tired of. He brought her close and moved away, concentrating on nipping her thigh. She gasped, surging upward. "Please," she moaned. "Please please please."

He ignored her cries and moved to the other thigh, tracing a path with his tongue. She tried to sit up and he splayed his fingers on her stomach, holding her down. Smiling, he blew across her tingling flesh and she fell back again, her hips undulating. He took pity on her and slid two fingers along her cleft and into her. Fastening his mouth against her again, he pushed her over the edge and chuckled a little when her legs locked on either side of his head.

She was panting when he removed his clothes and her eyes were tightly closed when he joined her on the bed. He rubbed his palm over her erect nipple and took the other in his mouth, laving it with his tongue. He kissed her neck, her ear, and then stared down into her eyes as he entered her. Her mouth opened slightly, her cupid bow lips forming a perfect 'o' as he filled her. "I love you," he whispered.

Her eyes were glazed with lust, but she nodded, her fingernails digging into the flesh of his back. "I know."

Their bodies merged, becoming one and their hearts spoke to one another with a pounding message that transcended time. They made love with their souls and their bodies and the magic of it was more powerful than anything they had felt before. When she came the second time, he joined her, calling her name as he strained against her. Spent, he collapsed on top of her, his fingers winding through her hair.

"George?"

"Yeah?"

"Now I'm hungry."

He smiled. "Didn't you tell me they delivered dinner here? We are not going out."

CH 10

Three weeks had ticked past since the school shooting and Callie had been able to avoid the glare of media cameras. Until today. All the major networks were present on the lawn of Liberty High School and she was still seeing spots from the flashbulbs that had assaulted her moments before. Two seats had been reserved at the very front for her and a guest and she slipped into hers, nervously opening the program she had been given. She skimmed over the pages, but nothing registered so she closed it and shifted uncomfortably. "Thanks for coming with me," she said, flipping it open again.

Addison took the program from her. "Would you stop fidgeting?"

"I hate this. I purposely avoid situations like this." It was surreal to be back at the place where so much innocence had been lost. She purposely avoided looking at the cafeteria and focused on the officers who were taking seats on stage. She caught Chief Barker's eye and waved at him. He winked at her in response. It did little to alleviate the apprehension she felt. "It was bad enough having to relive it in the interrogation room."

"I still can't believe they kept you there for six hours."

"It was a long story to tell."

Nodding with sympathy, Addison squeezed her hand. "I bet O'Malley was pissed that he couldn't get time off work to come with you."

"The hospital is so understaffed. With Izzie still at home and Meredith - well - "

"Meredith is on a cruise with my husband. Soon to be ex." With a shrug, Addison smiled at her. "Ask me if I care?"

"The fact that the walls of our apartment are not quite thick enough is all the answer I need. You may as well move Karev in with us. He never goes home." Callie crossed her arms over her chest. "Did you bring tissue? I know I'll need it."

"George spends quite a bit of time at our place. And I stole Kleenex from the hospital."

"Oooh, you're the original outlaw." Running a hand over her forehead, she took a deep shaky breath. "I'm scared, Addison."

Addy put her arm around her, leaning close. "Of what?"

"Of life. How fragile it really is." She put her head against Addison's for a second, then sat up again. "I mean, we see death every single day in the ER and it hurts, but we can shut it down and be doctors first. I can't shut this down. I dream about it. I think about it at the craziest times. I hurt down in my soul and I can't make it stop."

"What you went through in that school house was not something that anyone should have to experience. We're doctors, sure, but we're human beings first and you were a human being in a war zone." She rubbed the darker haired woman's arm. "A war zone created by children. Don't try to approach it from a medical perspective. Approach it from the heart."

"How did you get so smart?"

"I needed something going for me besides extremely good looks and poor judgment."

Callie started to reply, but applause broke out and the school's choir began to sing a haunting tune about triumph. She held Addison's hand, trying to convince herself that crying this early in the program would be unwise, but as white doves were released at the end of the song she knew that they represented each death and she felt the first tear fall. Addison handed her a tissue and she dabbed at her eyes, grateful that she had purchased water proof makeup after all.

After the doves were out of sight, the Mayor took the podium and spoke at length about the loss of lives and the memorial that would be donated by the city council. Then one by one, he read the names of the children and teachers who had perished. When Juliana Payne was announced, someone sobbed in the crowd and she didn't need to turn around to know who it was. She had visited the young man who had punched her, Philip Dunning, several times and he had been broken over the loss of his beautiful young girlfriend. She wanted to turn and pick him out in the crowd, but she couldn't, wouldn't allow herself to go there. He had tearfully apologized to her, clinging to her every time she visited. He didn't need to see her face and be reminded of anything else.

She concentrated on the ground, watching as a colorful butterfly made its way across the lawn. She wondered why it didn't fly, why it didn't push away from the earth and soar above the crowd. Its slow, arduous progression kept her attention long after the last of the names were read and Chief Barker had taken the microphone. When he said her name, she was jarred back to the present and listened as he spoke about her actions and the lives that she had saved. She could feel herself blushing profusely and tried to appear calm and cool.

"You're cutting off the circulation in my hand," Addison whispered.

Callie eased the pressure, but didn't let go. The lump in her throat was back when Sergeant Dean, flanked on his uninjured side by the Mayor, took the microphone. "My name is Sergeant Harrison Dean and I've been with this police department for twenty nine years. I have seen and experienced many things during those years, but nothing could have prepared me for what I saw at this high school or the unbreakable spirit of a doctor who threw herself in the middle of hell to administer first aid and usher wounded children to safety.

"When Dr. Calliope Torres pushed open those cafeteria doors and told the uninjured children to escort the victims to safety, she not only gave us a way into the school, but she risked her own life to do so. I watched her bandaging children, drying eyes, and saving lives. She eventually saved mine. I told my wife the other night that God had called several Angels into Heaven that day, but he left one behind. Mine. And countless other children who benefited from her on site medical attention.

"Dr. Torres, I would like to say to you that you have shown more bravery and kindness than anyone I've ever seen and it is a great honor for me to present you with the key to the city and an honorary badge of courage." He smiled down at her. "I'm putting you on the spot because I owe you one. Come on up here."

"Holy hell," she muttered, trying to force herself to sink into the ground. Addison nudged her and she rose on shaking limbs, trying to breathe as the sound of the applause literally made her cringe. Two officers had come down from the stage and took her arms. There was no getting away. Bulbs began flashing again and she saw stars, but somehow made it up the stairs without stumbling.

Sergeant Dean wrapped her in a tight hug and whispered, "I figure this is better than the spanking you had coming."

She returned the hug and relaxed a little. "I know exactly how much pressure it takes to snap a neck."

"I look forward to having you try." He winked at her and pinned the badge on the jacket of the swanky suit that Addison had picked out. "Now that looks just right."

The Mayor stepped forward, shaking her hand as he held out a velvet box to her that held a large, brass key. She accepted it, commenting that she was honored and didn't feel that she deserved it. He pulled her to the microphone and she froze for a second, but only a second. "Thank you," she said into the mic. "I - uh - wasn't expecting this so I didn't prepare anything to say so I'll just - speak from the heart."

Laying the key down on the podium, she gripped the sides and stared out at the faces, hoping that she could find the words. You could have heard a pin drop, but she spoke loud and clear. "One of the first things we're taught in medical school is to distance yourself from your cases. Doctors face some truly horrific things on a daily basis. I wasn't just a doctor here, however. I was a witness, a victim, I was scared, I was frantic, and I was heart broken. I want you to know that I will never be able to distance myself from what happened here because I was a part of it and I see your children every single night in my dreams. They're all-" Her voice broke a little and she tried to steel herself against the overwhelming hurt that she felt. "They're all a part of me."

The butterfly on the ground caught her attention again and she watched for a second as it lifted, then fell back down. She took a deep breath and said, "I think we all come into this world as broken butterflies who never learn to fly. We crawl through tragedy and dance through ecstasy, but we don't use our wings until we take our last breath. And then we soar." She smiled through her tears and nodded at the crowd. "They're soaring. I find a little comfort in that every night. Thank you very much for this undeserved and unexpected gift. I - I really don't know what else to say. Thank you."

She was shaking like a leaf when she was escorted back to her seat. Addison wrapped her a tight hug and she could feel people patting her on the back. The worst was over. She sat down, clutching the velvet box in her hands. "God, did I sound like an idiot?" she asked in a quiet voice.

Addison shook her head. "I think you should have been a motivational speaker instead of the bone crusher."

Callie smiled at her friend.

Life was unpredictable. It was scary, confusing, and heart wrenching at times, but it was also beautiful. Despite the setting, despite the sad song that started to play, she felt fine. Wonderful, actually. Addison was like the sister she had never had and Alex, who was surprising her by proving himself to be very good boyfriend material, was fun to have around. And George. Sweet, fun George. Their relationship had crossed boundaries and ignited into something she had never dreamed possible. Every second she spent with him was like magic.

It felt good to be loved.

And even better to love with all her heart.

The End


End file.
